A Life Hack Post

I don't know about you, but I've seen a lot of lists shared across Facebook and the rest of the internet sharing various "Life Hacks" or "Things Everyone Needs to Stop/Start Doing" or "Ways to Be Happy." While some of these posts actually have some pretty worthwhile and notable things to say, I would say that I find the majority of them to be pretty discouraging and disappointing. Some of them actually seem have a pretty rebellious or hostile tone to them as if their goal is not to help people learn how to be content but instead help them to create excuses and establish an emotional ventilation system designed to justify personal flaws.

Perhaps I am being too harsh, and maybe I'm just reading a more negative tone into them than is meant by the post's authors, but in any case, thinking about these lists and a few recent posts I've seen on Facebook over the last few days have given me incentive to fashion my own list of "Life Hacks." Within the depths of this post you will find a list of things that I think most people would benefit from doing/thinking more, and I include my self in that. I do not maintain the same kinds of standards I am about to put forward by any means, but they are the kinds of standards and goals that I strive toward and my best days are the ones where I stick to my guns and the kinds of ideals you'll find below.

Now, the single most significant, beneficial, and life changing life hack that I can recommend to anyone would be that they become involved in a conservative church (preferably a confessional Lutheran one), and I honestly believe that a great deal of the frustrations, complications, and troubling questions we face in life can be eased and even eliminated by belonging to the confessional Faith. However, I have a feeling that those of you in my audience who might agree with me on that already know and believe that particular observation, and those of you who would be more inclined to disagree with me on that point are not likely to be swayed through the ramblings of my blog so instead I will focus on a compilation of other observations about life that I have accumulated over the years.

Enjoy.

1) Be an Optimistic Realist 

 Optimism is a great thing, especially when the alternative is pessimism. Life seems significantly more enjoyable if you can look at the bright side of things and believe there is a hope for humanity. At the same time however, we all know that there are a lot of things about our world (and humanity) that are, quite frankly, pretty terrible. People do stupid things. We do stupid things. Time runs out, resources run out, patience runs out.... lots of stuff runs out. So, my solution for dealing with unfortunate complications and obstacles in life is to approach them with a sense of optimistic realism. Have ideals, believe that their is something good worth striving for, trust that there is hope for successes, but temper your enthusiasm with a realistic understanding of what kind of constraints you must operate within. Know your limitations, and know that there is also a chance for failure.

Another way of putting it would be this: Have ideals and strive for them, but keep your head out of the clouds and your feet on the ground.

2) Anticipate Pleasure Not Pain 

Life becomes really unpleasant if you assume the worst of people and going around expecting bad things to happen. If you operate under the assumption that others are going think poorly of you, will judge you for your actions/appearance/personality, or simply do stupid thinks, you're going to live in a perpetually miserable state of existence. Yeah, I know there are going to be plenty of people who unjustly judge you for doing things you are perfectly entitled to do, and I know that isn't fair, but until it happens you really don't need to worry about. Honestly, you don't really need to worry about it when it does happen. Formulating comebacks in your head, and memorizing retorts to throw back at people who make nasty comments is actually pretty nasty in and of itself.

At the same time, if you spend your time expecting something bad to happen, you are going to a lot less inclined to actually enjoy the good things that are happening around you at the same time. If something bad happens it happens, but until it does you should be taking the opportunity to enjoy what you have while you have it. Give others the benefit of the doubt, and take time to smell the roses and I think you'll find yourself being much more content with your lot in life.

"Anticipating pain was like enduring it twice. Why not anticipate pleasure instead?"
- Robbin Hobb

3) Ask More of Yourself than You Ask of Others

There are people who demand too much of themselves, I will acknowledge that. There are also people who spend a lot of their time sacrificing their own well being without asking those around them to contribute their own fair share, and I will also acknowledge that. However, I think we are often too quick to place a much greater value on our own actions and sacrifices than is really reasonable, and undervalue what other people are doing at the same time.

A good leader doesn't ask his followers to do something he isn't willing to do himself, and a good person shouldn't expect others to make up for the slack they're letting loose.

"Once you're perfect you can start criticizing everyone else," my dear not-so-old matriarch always says, and she expresses a very worthwhile and valid mentality. Don't establish standards and expectations for other people until you've actually met, nay surpassed, those standards yourself. It isn't fair, and it isn't going to make you happy, to wait on other people to make things better for you. Push yourself to be the best you can be (and that would be better than you are now, I can guarantee it), and develop a personal sense of responsibility and accountability that doesn't depend on others lifting their own share of the load... because their share of the load in making your life better and happier is pretty minimal. That's not their job. It's yours.

In my experience, people thrive best when standards are set high. Not so high that they have no hope of reaching them, but high enough that they have to stretch their strengths and test themselves. The rush of well earned pride and accomplishment that comes with reaching that bar you thought was beyond you is a lot more satisfying than having someone lift you up the whole way.

I'm not saying we shouldn't help each other, but there is a lot of contentment and satisfaction that comes from self dependency, and I actually think that many people find themselves more inclined to be more generous and sympathetic towards the struggles and challenges of other people when they've had to fight themselves. Once you've climbed the ladder and have an idea of the effort it takes, maybe you'll find yourself more inclined to lean over and help pull the next person up rather than criticize them.

4) Act With Confidence and Humility 

Usually people excel at one or the other, but learning how to be both humble and confident at the same time is an art I have yet to master. It pays to be sure of yourself, move with a purpose, and speak with a surety that demands attention, but it also pays to leave yourself open to learning, tread softly, and listen with the ear of a student. You should express your beliefs and your resolve with confidence and certainty, but you should also be aware of the fact that you have a lot to learn and that other people have things to offer than you could benefit from. Confident humility is at the heart of courtesy, respect, and nobility and it requires a gentle heart and steady head.

In a way, you think of yourself like you would think of one of your children or siblings. Be proud of yourself, your accomplishments, your talents, and your successes, but also be keenly aware of your faults and how far from perfection you still are.

5) Know Your Limits. Push them. 

I think it is very important to know what exactly your limitations are. How much time can you put into something before you exhaust yourself? How long are you able to operate within a social environment before you feel like strangling people? What is the greatest amount you can life? How much pain can you endure? What all can you take on before your efficiency and quality suffers?

These are all questions we should be able to answer about ourselves, and we can only know the answer by testing the extent of our limitations. At the same time however, rarely should we accept our limitations as fixed costs to operate around and accommodate. Always push yourself to move past the very limits you have discovered, and ever strive to become a better and stronger person.

Just do so within reason, and don't kill yourself on the way up.

6) Expect the Best. Prepare for the Worst.

I suppose this is kind of an extension of Optimistic Realism. Expect the best of people, expect the best of your work, and expect the best from others, because that way you will be motivated to make the best possible outcome become a reality. People are a lot happier to work towards a goal if they know you have faith in their ability to reach it (yourself included), and if you go back to the Anticipating Pleasure point, you'll be a lot happier if you expect good things to come.

At the same time, we don't want to be caught emptied handed when the rainy season hits. Have contingent plans in place, set up your safety nets, and have the emergency rations readily available. Most of the time Plan B will never need to become a reality, but when it does, you'll be mighty happy and relieved if Plan B already exists and is on hand, because when the excrement hits the fan you don't have to begin fashioning your helmet.

The zombies apocalypse is never going to happen, but if it did, would you be ready?

7) Know What You Believe

Seems like a pretty silly thing to say, but when someone asks you "Why?" have an answer ready for them. There is not much quite so disconcerting as having someone rocking your boat and realizing you don't know why you're on it to begin with.

Whatever you believe, know why you believe it and be able to tell someone else. If it is really something you think matters then you should probably know why and what it really means.

I've heard this can also be pretty useful in interviews.

8) Learn from Your Past and then Share. 

We all make mistakes... and quite a few of them at that. Hindsight is 20/20 and we can learn pretty quickly that setting that particular thing ablaze wasn't a good idea.

Learn from your mistakes, and don't let your own personal history repeat itself (well.. not the bad parts anyway). Ask yourself why things when downhill when they did, figure out where you went wrong when you did, and actually think about the implications of your past choices. When you do that, you are far more likely to make the better choices in the future (disclaimer: you will still make mistakes. That isn't avoidable).

Once you have learned from your past, and have successfully determined how not to do something, share your newly discovered wisdom with others. When you have children, younger siblings, or younger friends going through life situations you know you personally struggled with a lot, it would be a pretty spectacular idea to share some pro tips and point out the major pitfalls ("See that mark on the floor there? That's where I tripped, fell, and totally destroyed what could have been a long and fruitful relationship.")

You can't erase or eliminate the errors of your past, but the second best thing is helping to make sure that other people don't rack up as many of their own.

9) Have a Plan and then Deviate from it. 

Know where you want to go in life and what you want to do. Draw up a map, mark it with an X, and have a sense of purpose and goals to strive for. It is really hard to cover any ground when you're just flopping around in the dark waiting for something to present itself to you, whereas a great distances can be traversed in remarkable short spaces of time if you know where it is you want to ultimately end up. Always have steps one, two, and three at the forefront of your mind as you face hurdles in your life. Complications and unfortunate circumstances are a lot easier to move past if you have something worth fighting for in mind.

At the same time though, be flexible enough to comfortably deviate from what you had in mind. Know the rules of the engagement, and then find a way to break them beneficially. Not everything is always going to go according to your plan, so prepare yourself early on and don't let yourself get caught unawares and just take the initiative in derailing your own course. Figure out how to take the road least traveled by and still end up where you want to be.

10) Work 

Push yourself, and do something worthwhile with your time. Laziness, procrastination, and sloth may seem like highly appealing and wonderful options from time to time, but when you let them become the predominant and driving factors in your life, you trap yourself in a self-degrading and miserable mindset that you won't be content with forever. No one likes a bum, especially when that bum is yourself. When you don't do what you're supposed to you feel bad and beat yourself up and consequently lose motivation and confidence in yourself. That then leads to failure in some other responsibility that leads to a great drop in motivation and confidence that leads to more failure that leads to a never ending cycle that results in one very bummed out and unhappy camper who isn't even camping because packing a tent is too much effort and sitting on the coach eating chips and drinking beer while watching a soap opera is much more enjoyable anyway...

Work, be active, push yourself, and do contribute to your family, your friends, and your society. It will make you feel better about yourself, and will benefit others in the process.

11) Love 

While you are working, make sure you take the time to dedicate your life and your actions to something. If you don't have someone, or a group of someones, in your life that you love and you are willing to die and sacrifice yourself for, then you are going to run into trouble and run out steam eventually. At some point along the line you will end up asking yourself "Why am I doing this? What's the point? Is it really worth putting in the effort?" and if all you have to draw upon at that point is your own self worth and your own well being you're going to have a hard time carrying on in the face of adversity. If you instead have people that you love and that love you, and that are worth fighting and working for, you will be much better equipped to carry on through the torrential sea of troubles that pound against us through life and suck it up, because there are others counting on you and you would do anything for them. Love makes it worth it.

12) Trust

The last thing I want to suggest to anyone reading this post is that you need to be able to trust people. I'm not suggesting that you naively go out into the world believing that everyone always tells the truth, and that everyone has your back and will help you up if you fall down (because that isn't true), but you have to be able to trust people if you wan to live a happy and fruitful life.

No matter how many times you get tricked, or cheated, or taken advantage of, try not to lose your sense of trust, because once you start questioning everyone's motives, intentions, and reliability, you become like Gollum in the Lord of the Rings.

And no one wants to be like Gollum.

Always have a group of people you can trust, and always put value in the words and promises of others, and on the flip side of that coin, conduct your own words, behavior, and actions in a way worth of another person's trust. Relationships, whether they be romantic, familial, or commercial, can not function properly without trust, and human beings as social creatures can not function properly without relationships.