"Why do I need to learn this stuff anyway? I'm never going to use it in real life." is is a pretty common complaint/justification I hear used by students taking a subject they aren't enjoying. I have actually used it myself a number of times in the past, like back when I was taking Algebra I, but the older I get the more I realize that the "I'm never going to use it in real life." complaint is a pretty presumptuous and pointless one to make.
For one thing, to say that you will never use something at any point during your life is to say that you can predict the future. Never say never is a pretty good mantra for a lot of things, but it seems especially relevant when it comes to education. Presumably, you are being educated so that you will be better prepared for a future career and for future life in general. The reason you need that education is because you don't actually know what you need to yet. Once you have been working in a particular career field for a few decades you might be able say with some certainty whether or not a bit of knowledge you covered in college/high school was actually worth learning, but while you are still going through school you are continually being exposed to newer and more complex information and there is no way that you can say with complete honesty and confidence that something is never going to be useful.
It is entirely possible that you must learn a very abstract, seemingly useless concept, before you are capable of understanding, appreciating, or utilizing a more advanced one. Already I see this happening over and over again in everything I've been doing with math and business. At first you have to make a lot of assumptions and work with a lot of abstract ideas that seem to have no real value to them, but that is because once you get deeper into the subject matter, you won't be able to understand what you are dealing with if you hadn't already juggled and mastered the more abstract basics. There really are often real and concrete applications to abstract conceptual theories, that cannot easily be explained when you are first learning those theories.
The fact is, as a student, you just have no way of knowing whether or not what you are learning will be applicable in later life. However, the chances are very high that they wouldn't be teaching you the stuff that they are if there wasn't a good reason for it.
I had a conversation with a professor that I am working with as an in-class tutor this semester about the personalities of some of the students in our class in comparison with our own approaches to education. The class he is teaching, and that I am helping with, is a very low level math course and the students taking it (by and large) really seem to lack any real motivation. It is a class that have to take and so they'll try to pass, but passing with a C is just as good as passing with an A in the class, because they don't really care about the content and they're "never going to use it in anyway."
The thing is, as the prof and I were talking about, is that education, at its heart, isn't/shouldn't be about simply getting a passing grade and moving on. Education is supposed to be about expanding our intellectual horizons and gathering about us new and exciting information. Especially at the Gen Ed. stage of your college career, you might feel like you are taking a lot of irrelevant and useless classes, but the key is to ask yourself not "When am I ever going to use this?" but "How can I use this experience to improve myself?" There is always the opportunity, in any class, to learn something and to find a way to apply that knowledge to your everyday life. You might be able to argue that the knowledge you can gain isn't worth $400 a credit hour, but you can still learn something.
It might be directly related to the class material or it might be related to learning how to function around other people. It might be learning how to jump through hoops in order to pass a philosophy class with a professor that has a very different view of truth than you do. It might mean learning how to organize a group project with lazy and incompetent group members. Even if you come across a concept that seems useless and impossible to understand to you, the process you undergo to teach yourself the concept and work past the mental block you've developed is a real life skill that you will almost definitely have to employ outside the classroom. Even when the material might not be applicable to your career and life, every class, every professor, and every problem you are given during your education is an opportunity to learn and acquire skills that will most certainly prove useful to you.
The moment you are able to approach your classes and educational experience, not as a burden to overcome, but as a opportunity to make yourself a better person and expand both your horizons and you capabilities, is the moment when everything is going to become a lot easier. When the final is coming around, asking yourself "Why do I need to know this?" isn't going to do you any good, but the question "What can I learn from this?" will forever and always serve you well. We, as selfish human beings, always perform better when we can see some good for us in something, but the reality is that there is always something good you can get out of anything if you are just willing to look for it.
Even beyond selfish motivations though, there is another branch of value to be found in carrying yourself through a class that seems useless, frustrating, or pointless. Every bit of knowledge that you acquire for yourself is a bit of knowledge that you can pass onto another person somewhere down the line. What may not necessarily hold a direct pay off for you, could be a life saver (or at least a little useful) for someone else, and there is an honest and true value to that.
For the very reason that we should not completely obliterate the forests of the planet or behave economically recklessly, we should not allow knowledge to be lost to the world. As long as there is even the slightest potential for future generations to benefit from something, we should cling to it and preserve it as much as humanly possible.
As someone who hopes to one day assist in the homeschooling of his children as he was homeschooled, I want to learn as much as I can regardless of whether or not it will aid me personally. Why? Because the benefit of imparting fruitful and helpful information to my future children and grandchildren far outweighs whatever cost I may have paid to acquire that information.
"I'm never going to use this!" is not the comment that a forward thinking individual uses. It is the complaint of somehow obsessed with their present satisfaction and well-being. Someone with their eyes on the distant horizon seeks to learn everything they can regardless of its present worth. I am from a generation obsessed with the present, but our educations are not about the present. Our educations are about the future, a future that is forever uncertain, and the best way to face uncertainty is to be prepared for everything, not just the ideal.
Pax
Friday, October 18, 2013
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Grandpa
It is a cruel truth indeed.
It is a cruel truth that we never really fully appreciate or understand that value of what we have until it is taken away. Liberty, health, food, clothing, friends, family... life. Day after day we progress through our routines and duties handling and interacting with countless blessings that we have been given without truly understanding what it is we have. At times we even becomes scornful of or careless towards those things that matter most to us, because we forget how precious they are. Close friends and family drift into the background as we progress through life and move onto "bigger and better things." The demands of the present like our work our education, and even our entertainment take precedence over other people and things that are significant simply because we begin to believe that they will always be there for us to return to at another point in time when it is convenient for us.
We don't develop this mindset consciously and we do not necessarily look down up the people and things we have been given, but neither do we lift them up and give thanks for them as we should. They're true worth is unappreciated and ignored, albeit unintentionally most of the time, and we miss ever so precious opportunities as a result.
Opportunities that become lost to us forever when we finally receive or wake up call and find out just how broken this sinful world real is.
Over the last few years my grandfather's health has been failing fairly rapidly. Time and time again I have told myself that I needed to call him or send him a letter and not once did I actually follow up. This afternoon he died and I will live the rest of my life regretting that I never, not once during the entire period of his decline, took the time to actually contact him.
My grandfather was one of the most compassionate and loving men I have ever known. He loved me, and my siblings, unconditionally and he needed no reason to do so beyond the fact that we were his grandchildren. It mattered not that I only I got to see him once ever year... or two... or three... or four. I never once doubted that my grandpa loved me and would continue loving me for as long as we both lived.
Growing up, my grandfather's house was, to me, one of the most interesting and magical places ever. Full of interesting and unique antiques and nick-knacks too look at all throughout the house, it was fascinating to just look around at all there was to see. From the chandelier in the living room to the wall of china cabinets, there was not a boring room in his house. The wagon wheel utensil rack hanging above the island in his kitchen with the sign "Grand kids eat free" will always be one of my favorite pieces of household decor ever... second only to the locks. My grandfather loved clocks and his walls were covered in them. Rooster clocks that crowed, a cuckoo clock that I never catch "cu-kooing," clocks that actually went ding-dong, clocks that tinkled like chimes in the wind, a clock whose pendulum rocked back and forth in the hands of a small statue, and of course, a majestic grandfather clock.
Among my fondest and dearest memories are those of my lying across the couch in the living room while everyone was going to sleep and listening to the clocks all go off together every hour in the dark. When my grandpa had to move last year because it was getting too hard to move around in his house, a few of his clocks made there way across the country to my parents house where I am able to appreciate them still... but it isn't the same as when I was there.
My visits to my grandfather were relatively few, far too few as I am sure I will realize more and more as I age, and many of them were when I was too young to have a clear memory of them, but they are still precious to me and exponentially more so now that I will never be able to add to them again.
I thoroughly enjoyed every trip out to see grandpa and every trip he made out to visit us, but now that he is gone I feel like it wasn't enough. I feel like I should have been able to see him so many more times, and that when seeing him was not possible, I should have called him or wrote to him just to let him know how much I loved him.
Last summer was the last time I saw him. My whole family went our first vacation to visit far off family in a very long time. I wasn't even a teen yet on our last visit before that and last summer I was rapidly approaching adulthood. Already at that time I could feel that the wonderland I had loved so much as a wee little lad was changing, and not necessarily for the better.
The garden that had always impressed me with its rampant growth and wildness had been dismantled once my grandfather wasn't able to keep up with it anymore. All but one or two of the main clocks had been allowed to run down and when I fell asleep on a mattress in the living room it was not to the sound of ticking clocks. Most significantly though, I could see my grandpa growing weaker. I'd known his health was not the best before we went out to visit him, but it became all the more apparent actually seeing it for myself. On oxygen and not able to move about much without considerable effort, he was in constant pain and for years now sleep has evaded him most nights.
He was still grandpa though. He was still the same amazing, compassionate, loving, and dedicated man that had always showered me with affection.
One of the first nights after our arrival grandpa and I stayed up talking after everyone else had gone to bed until somewhere around the vicinity of two or three in the morning. I don't even remember what all we talked about, but we talked about girls, we talked about school and my starting college that fall, we talked about growing up, and we talked about the importance of family and of friendships. Much of what was said in that conversations escapes me now, but I remember as we were getting ready to finally call it a night he said to me that he was proud of me and would always love me no matter where I went in my life.
I will never have the opportunity to have a conversation like that with my grandpa again, but at least I will always have that memory to hold onto and treasure when I think of him, and I hope that, going forward, I will be able to learn from him and never again pass up the opportunity to let another person know just how much they mean to me.
The world lost an incredible man with an incredible heart today, but his legacy will live on through the love he gave his children and grandchildren.
I'm sorry I didn't get to tell you one more time before you left grandpa, but I'm love you and I'm proud of you too.
It is a cruel truth that we never really fully appreciate or understand that value of what we have until it is taken away. Liberty, health, food, clothing, friends, family... life. Day after day we progress through our routines and duties handling and interacting with countless blessings that we have been given without truly understanding what it is we have. At times we even becomes scornful of or careless towards those things that matter most to us, because we forget how precious they are. Close friends and family drift into the background as we progress through life and move onto "bigger and better things." The demands of the present like our work our education, and even our entertainment take precedence over other people and things that are significant simply because we begin to believe that they will always be there for us to return to at another point in time when it is convenient for us.
We don't develop this mindset consciously and we do not necessarily look down up the people and things we have been given, but neither do we lift them up and give thanks for them as we should. They're true worth is unappreciated and ignored, albeit unintentionally most of the time, and we miss ever so precious opportunities as a result.
Opportunities that become lost to us forever when we finally receive or wake up call and find out just how broken this sinful world real is.
Over the last few years my grandfather's health has been failing fairly rapidly. Time and time again I have told myself that I needed to call him or send him a letter and not once did I actually follow up. This afternoon he died and I will live the rest of my life regretting that I never, not once during the entire period of his decline, took the time to actually contact him.
My grandfather was one of the most compassionate and loving men I have ever known. He loved me, and my siblings, unconditionally and he needed no reason to do so beyond the fact that we were his grandchildren. It mattered not that I only I got to see him once ever year... or two... or three... or four. I never once doubted that my grandpa loved me and would continue loving me for as long as we both lived.
Growing up, my grandfather's house was, to me, one of the most interesting and magical places ever. Full of interesting and unique antiques and nick-knacks too look at all throughout the house, it was fascinating to just look around at all there was to see. From the chandelier in the living room to the wall of china cabinets, there was not a boring room in his house. The wagon wheel utensil rack hanging above the island in his kitchen with the sign "Grand kids eat free" will always be one of my favorite pieces of household decor ever... second only to the locks. My grandfather loved clocks and his walls were covered in them. Rooster clocks that crowed, a cuckoo clock that I never catch "cu-kooing," clocks that actually went ding-dong, clocks that tinkled like chimes in the wind, a clock whose pendulum rocked back and forth in the hands of a small statue, and of course, a majestic grandfather clock.
Among my fondest and dearest memories are those of my lying across the couch in the living room while everyone was going to sleep and listening to the clocks all go off together every hour in the dark. When my grandpa had to move last year because it was getting too hard to move around in his house, a few of his clocks made there way across the country to my parents house where I am able to appreciate them still... but it isn't the same as when I was there.
My visits to my grandfather were relatively few, far too few as I am sure I will realize more and more as I age, and many of them were when I was too young to have a clear memory of them, but they are still precious to me and exponentially more so now that I will never be able to add to them again.
I thoroughly enjoyed every trip out to see grandpa and every trip he made out to visit us, but now that he is gone I feel like it wasn't enough. I feel like I should have been able to see him so many more times, and that when seeing him was not possible, I should have called him or wrote to him just to let him know how much I loved him.
Last summer was the last time I saw him. My whole family went our first vacation to visit far off family in a very long time. I wasn't even a teen yet on our last visit before that and last summer I was rapidly approaching adulthood. Already at that time I could feel that the wonderland I had loved so much as a wee little lad was changing, and not necessarily for the better.
The garden that had always impressed me with its rampant growth and wildness had been dismantled once my grandfather wasn't able to keep up with it anymore. All but one or two of the main clocks had been allowed to run down and when I fell asleep on a mattress in the living room it was not to the sound of ticking clocks. Most significantly though, I could see my grandpa growing weaker. I'd known his health was not the best before we went out to visit him, but it became all the more apparent actually seeing it for myself. On oxygen and not able to move about much without considerable effort, he was in constant pain and for years now sleep has evaded him most nights.
He was still grandpa though. He was still the same amazing, compassionate, loving, and dedicated man that had always showered me with affection.
One of the first nights after our arrival grandpa and I stayed up talking after everyone else had gone to bed until somewhere around the vicinity of two or three in the morning. I don't even remember what all we talked about, but we talked about girls, we talked about school and my starting college that fall, we talked about growing up, and we talked about the importance of family and of friendships. Much of what was said in that conversations escapes me now, but I remember as we were getting ready to finally call it a night he said to me that he was proud of me and would always love me no matter where I went in my life.
I will never have the opportunity to have a conversation like that with my grandpa again, but at least I will always have that memory to hold onto and treasure when I think of him, and I hope that, going forward, I will be able to learn from him and never again pass up the opportunity to let another person know just how much they mean to me.
The world lost an incredible man with an incredible heart today, but his legacy will live on through the love he gave his children and grandchildren.
I'm sorry I didn't get to tell you one more time before you left grandpa, but I'm love you and I'm proud of you too.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
An Entirely New Perspective
(It is pretty good sign that you are too tired to be blogging when after posting you realize that you made several mistakes within the first paragraph.)
Recently I finally, after almost exactly two years of holding my permit, obtained my driver's license.
For a long time there wasn't any real reason for me to get my license. My family didn't have an extra vehicle for me to drive, I didn't need to be able to transport myself anywhere on a regular basis, and the cost of insurance and gas wasn't something I had the income to cover. Since starting college the possibility of hauling myself to and fro became a much more promising prospect. My father also replaced his rapidly aging vehicle with a slightly less aged vehicle and I started working two jobs. Once all those things kind of fell into place, we started working on getting my required driving hours down and a few weeks ago I finally reached the point where I had the opportunity to take the driving test and I passed.
Until kicks the bucket or becomes too expensive to maintain, my dad's vehicle is more or less mine to use. It is technically still the property of my parents but I bought its new set of tires and am responsible for keeping it full of gas and covering any future repairs costs (Oh the joys of adulthood!). I have dubbed my little blue means of transportation the Rickety Cricket Nickety Mobile and thus far it has done a might good job of getting me around to where I need to be. (I'm praying it won't be in need of any major repairs any time soon...)
For the most part I've just been making the same drive from home to school day after day but since I got my license I've made to "major" trips. I drove myself to the Fortress of Solitude (or My Home Away From Home) two hours away the weekend after getting my license so I could spend a few days hanging out with some of my very closest friends. For that trip I had a passenger to talk with and serve as another responsible driver in case some kind of an emergency occurred. Then this last weekend I made the hour and a half drive to and from my brother and sister-in-law's place so I could spend the day hanging out with my older broski and that time I made the trip by myself.
I know for most people by the time they reach my age/college have been driving for at least a year already (usually more) and it isn't any big deal, but having the power to get myself where I need to be and the flexibility to decide for myself that I am going to take a weekend trip to visit my friends is still a spectacular phenomenon in my eyes and I've been thinking about it a lot recently, especially as I returned home from spending the day with my brother.
When we get behind the wheel of a car we are taking a lot of responsibility into our hands. The lives of ourselves, our passengers, and anyone else out on the road is placed in our hands. When someone gets into a car with you they really are giving you control over their fate for the duration of that trip. It is easy to consider driving, especially that trip from home to work/school that you make every day, as a routine activity as normal as walking or eating, but it is really much more significant than that.
In order to get a discount on my insurance I, among other things, watched a video created by my family's insurance company made up of interviews with various young people that had been involved in fatal car accidents (obviously they were not the fatalities). In some cases they were the drivers and in others they were the passengers, but each in case the lives of some of their closest friends or family members were ended. One girl was in an accident where four of her best friends died because her boyfriend thought it would be funny to yank on the steering wheel while she was going somewhere around thirty miles over the speed limit.
In the video, every accident occurred when the driver was going at least twenty miles of the speed limit and in one of them a guy was going close to 90 miles an hour in what I believe was somewhere between a 40 and 50 mph speed limit zone. In one case the driver and passenger had both been drinking even though the driver was under the legal blood-alcohol limit.
Going that fast and drinking while driving are irresponsibility that are easy to shake our heads at, but on a regular basis almost everyone breaks some kind of road law or another. Speeding between five and ten miles an hour over the limit is done so frequently it is ridiculous. Some people apparently never learned how to use a turn signal. Certain individuals seem to be under the impression that "left turn only" can be read as "right turns are allowed here" and every once in a while stopping at lights and signs becomes optional.
Now, I am far from guiltless in these regards. I've just begun my driving career and I am already fully aware of the temptation to take that 25 MPH speed limit as more of a suggestion than the law, but the fact is that laws exist for a reason and it is not up to us to decide whether or not they apply to us.
When we take risks with our driving we put the lives of everyone around us at risk as well. No matter how talented of a driver we might think we are it only takes one slip up to do something that can never be undone. Obeying the rules of the road not only helps to prevent you from making mistakes but it serves as protection against other, more reckless drivers too.
It is incredibly easy for even those of us who typically strive to be more conservative drivers to let our standards fall to the wayside when we are running late to work, school, or some other appointment but the potential for disaster far outweighs being late to wherever you are supposed to be. I have being late as much as the next person, but when we speed or make a reckless/sudden lane change for the sake of trying to save a little time we are saying, not consciously necessarily, that our timeliness is more important than the safety of yourself, your passenger, and everyone else on the road. If you are supposed to turn and your in the left lane and you only have one block till your turn then maybe you just have to miss your turn and find a way to get back where you need to be, because it is not worth swerving in front of other drivers who will not be able to react in time.
I am not a very good driver, at least not yet, and so I try extra hard to be sensitive about using my turn signals and clearly indicating to everyone around me what I am going to be doing (sometimes I fail), but even if you are an expert driver with decades of experience and you think that you can easily shift lanes without causing any problems you should still use your signal. What if the person you are turning in front of was getting ready to speed up and pass you?
I should probably stop ranting because it isn't actually going accomplish anything and the purpose of this post wasn't meant to be a lecture about driving safely...
What I wanted to get to address was mainly this change in perspective that driving has given me. I see vehicular transportation in a whole new light now that I have the ability to actually control the vehicle and make my own decisions. For one thing, I feel significantly more interdependent and having to power to get myself where I need/want to be is pretty incredible. The problem is that I every time I drive I become more aware of how appealing compromising what you know is right becomes when you have the power to call the shots.
It is truly a mark of humanity's sinful nature when, as soon as we are presented with the power to do something good, the wrong we could do with that power moves to the forefront of our minds. Good men turn sour when put into positions of high authority and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Having the power to do something seems to give us the impression that we suddenly have the authority to dictate what is right or wrong. We start to delude ourselves into thinking that we are smarter than the people that established the rules in the first place and that if we can get away with it we should be allowed to do it. We see it in others all the time, but we never want to accept it in ourselves. We fume in rage at the person who pulls in front of us without a signal but when it comes time for us to turn we frequently and conveniently forget that.
The thing is, all of our power and all of our influence is given to us by someone else. We might claim driving as our right as U.S. citizens but the government could easily take that right away from us. The same goes with all of our "rights" and all of our "power." No matter how high you go up there is always someone hire who distributed that power. Power, influence, control, leadership... all of them are gifts that we have a responsibility to use in a particular way.
Along with the right to drive we are given a series of rules to follow. We are given a speed limit, we are given traffic signals, and we are given instructions to take care of other drivers and of pedestrians. If we break those rules than we forfeit our right to our power. When we start acting like everyone else on the road, whether they be in a car, on a bike, or on foot, needs to cater to our wants and desires we have allowed our power, which is no more than a gift, to go to our head and inflate our egos to something beyond what they really are.
There is a lot to be said for being dependent on others. It teaches us humility and it helps us to understand that everything we have is actually a gift, and that goes far beyond legal matters of this world. Abuse of power and freedom was what caused the fall of man.
Everything we have and everything we are is a gift given us from God. Our families, our wealth, or power, our influence, our status and everything we ever achieve in life comes from what God has granted us. He gives these gifts to us freely because he loves and cares for us, but that doesn't mean we have the right to do whatever we want with them.
When we have been abundantly showered with gifts and privileges we somehow start to think like we have a right to them and that for whoever is supplying them to stop handing them our would be wrong, abusive, and/or negligent. There is an honest appreciation and gratitude the blessings we have in life that is lost when we reach a certain point of comfort and success in our lives. This is so blatantly visible in modern American (and probably many European) culture where not only are all our needs met but we live in a land full of excess and plenty. Our entire world becomes centered on what we have a "right" to and what our government and "privileged" members of society owe us. Forget the 1%, the remaining 99% is still better off than those living in mud houses and starving in various developing countries across the world. Our self centered, power blinded attitudes extend far beyond our driving habits. You can see them in our masses scrambling for free benefits and hand outs from the government, you can see them in the business and political realms where people clutch their wealth and influence to their chests as if their lives depend upon it, and you can see it most prominently, in my opinion, in our wanton slaughter of unborn children for the sake of sexual freedom and convenience.
We have power in this county. Not just those living in New York Penthouses, but everyone with food on their plates and clothing on their backs. We have power and we have been exceedingly blessed, and yet instead of being thankful for that and taking the blessings we have been giving to live in love and kindness towards our neighbor we shove each other to the ground in order to demonstrate that we are deserving of more. It happens everyone on every level from driving to our views of religion.
Maybe it is true that going thirty-five in a thirty mph zone isn't going to do any harm. Maybe that is true. But there is a problem in your understanding of what that speed limit and our right to drive means. The Law is not a suggestion for us to follow when we feel like it. We have been granted truly incredible gifts and opportunities, but with those privileges come rules Those rules may not make any sense to us. They might seem unfair or ridiculous, but their power comes not from how much sense they make to us but from the entity that creates them.
Again, I fail in this regard all the time and I am regularly guilty of self-centered actions and pretentious decision making, but I will still confess what I believe to be true regardless of how often I fail to stand up the standards I believe to be right. I may not be able to confess my beliefs and thoughts eloquently or entirely coherently, but what that which is true will stand up on its own regardless of my attempts to support it.
Following the Law to the letter is always what we should do, and bending or breaking it will always be wrong. Thankfully the Gospel and the Resurrection will always be there for us when we mess up, but even the fact that our sins our forgiven doesn't change the fact that they are still sins. The gifts we are given may be ours, but when we abuse them or take them for granted we are at fault.
Anyhow... that is probably enough drowsy ranting for now. I hope, as always, that this is benefit to my readers and not merely incoherent ramblings.
This is the kind of stuff I think about when I'm driving.
Pax
"I believe that God has made me and all creatures; that He has given me my body and soul, eyes, ears, and all my members, my reason and all my senses, and still takes care of them.
He also gives me clothing and shoes, food and drink, house and home, wife and children, land, animals, and all I have. He richly and daily provides me with all that I need to support this body and life.
He defends me against all danger and guards and protects me from all evil.
All this He does only out of fatherly, divine goodness and mercy, without any merit or worthiness in me. For all this it is my duty to thank and praise, serve and obey Him."
(Luther's Small Catechism meaning of the first article of the Apostles Creed)
Recently I finally, after almost exactly two years of holding my permit, obtained my driver's license.
For a long time there wasn't any real reason for me to get my license. My family didn't have an extra vehicle for me to drive, I didn't need to be able to transport myself anywhere on a regular basis, and the cost of insurance and gas wasn't something I had the income to cover. Since starting college the possibility of hauling myself to and fro became a much more promising prospect. My father also replaced his rapidly aging vehicle with a slightly less aged vehicle and I started working two jobs. Once all those things kind of fell into place, we started working on getting my required driving hours down and a few weeks ago I finally reached the point where I had the opportunity to take the driving test and I passed.
Until kicks the bucket or becomes too expensive to maintain, my dad's vehicle is more or less mine to use. It is technically still the property of my parents but I bought its new set of tires and am responsible for keeping it full of gas and covering any future repairs costs (Oh the joys of adulthood!). I have dubbed my little blue means of transportation the Rickety Cricket Nickety Mobile and thus far it has done a might good job of getting me around to where I need to be. (I'm praying it won't be in need of any major repairs any time soon...)
For the most part I've just been making the same drive from home to school day after day but since I got my license I've made to "major" trips. I drove myself to the Fortress of Solitude (or My Home Away From Home) two hours away the weekend after getting my license so I could spend a few days hanging out with some of my very closest friends. For that trip I had a passenger to talk with and serve as another responsible driver in case some kind of an emergency occurred. Then this last weekend I made the hour and a half drive to and from my brother and sister-in-law's place so I could spend the day hanging out with my older broski and that time I made the trip by myself.
I know for most people by the time they reach my age/college have been driving for at least a year already (usually more) and it isn't any big deal, but having the power to get myself where I need to be and the flexibility to decide for myself that I am going to take a weekend trip to visit my friends is still a spectacular phenomenon in my eyes and I've been thinking about it a lot recently, especially as I returned home from spending the day with my brother.
When we get behind the wheel of a car we are taking a lot of responsibility into our hands. The lives of ourselves, our passengers, and anyone else out on the road is placed in our hands. When someone gets into a car with you they really are giving you control over their fate for the duration of that trip. It is easy to consider driving, especially that trip from home to work/school that you make every day, as a routine activity as normal as walking or eating, but it is really much more significant than that.
In order to get a discount on my insurance I, among other things, watched a video created by my family's insurance company made up of interviews with various young people that had been involved in fatal car accidents (obviously they were not the fatalities). In some cases they were the drivers and in others they were the passengers, but each in case the lives of some of their closest friends or family members were ended. One girl was in an accident where four of her best friends died because her boyfriend thought it would be funny to yank on the steering wheel while she was going somewhere around thirty miles over the speed limit.
In the video, every accident occurred when the driver was going at least twenty miles of the speed limit and in one of them a guy was going close to 90 miles an hour in what I believe was somewhere between a 40 and 50 mph speed limit zone. In one case the driver and passenger had both been drinking even though the driver was under the legal blood-alcohol limit.
Going that fast and drinking while driving are irresponsibility that are easy to shake our heads at, but on a regular basis almost everyone breaks some kind of road law or another. Speeding between five and ten miles an hour over the limit is done so frequently it is ridiculous. Some people apparently never learned how to use a turn signal. Certain individuals seem to be under the impression that "left turn only" can be read as "right turns are allowed here" and every once in a while stopping at lights and signs becomes optional.
Now, I am far from guiltless in these regards. I've just begun my driving career and I am already fully aware of the temptation to take that 25 MPH speed limit as more of a suggestion than the law, but the fact is that laws exist for a reason and it is not up to us to decide whether or not they apply to us.
When we take risks with our driving we put the lives of everyone around us at risk as well. No matter how talented of a driver we might think we are it only takes one slip up to do something that can never be undone. Obeying the rules of the road not only helps to prevent you from making mistakes but it serves as protection against other, more reckless drivers too.
It is incredibly easy for even those of us who typically strive to be more conservative drivers to let our standards fall to the wayside when we are running late to work, school, or some other appointment but the potential for disaster far outweighs being late to wherever you are supposed to be. I have being late as much as the next person, but when we speed or make a reckless/sudden lane change for the sake of trying to save a little time we are saying, not consciously necessarily, that our timeliness is more important than the safety of yourself, your passenger, and everyone else on the road. If you are supposed to turn and your in the left lane and you only have one block till your turn then maybe you just have to miss your turn and find a way to get back where you need to be, because it is not worth swerving in front of other drivers who will not be able to react in time.
I am not a very good driver, at least not yet, and so I try extra hard to be sensitive about using my turn signals and clearly indicating to everyone around me what I am going to be doing (sometimes I fail), but even if you are an expert driver with decades of experience and you think that you can easily shift lanes without causing any problems you should still use your signal. What if the person you are turning in front of was getting ready to speed up and pass you?
I should probably stop ranting because it isn't actually going accomplish anything and the purpose of this post wasn't meant to be a lecture about driving safely...
What I wanted to get to address was mainly this change in perspective that driving has given me. I see vehicular transportation in a whole new light now that I have the ability to actually control the vehicle and make my own decisions. For one thing, I feel significantly more interdependent and having to power to get myself where I need/want to be is pretty incredible. The problem is that I every time I drive I become more aware of how appealing compromising what you know is right becomes when you have the power to call the shots.
It is truly a mark of humanity's sinful nature when, as soon as we are presented with the power to do something good, the wrong we could do with that power moves to the forefront of our minds. Good men turn sour when put into positions of high authority and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Having the power to do something seems to give us the impression that we suddenly have the authority to dictate what is right or wrong. We start to delude ourselves into thinking that we are smarter than the people that established the rules in the first place and that if we can get away with it we should be allowed to do it. We see it in others all the time, but we never want to accept it in ourselves. We fume in rage at the person who pulls in front of us without a signal but when it comes time for us to turn we frequently and conveniently forget that.
The thing is, all of our power and all of our influence is given to us by someone else. We might claim driving as our right as U.S. citizens but the government could easily take that right away from us. The same goes with all of our "rights" and all of our "power." No matter how high you go up there is always someone hire who distributed that power. Power, influence, control, leadership... all of them are gifts that we have a responsibility to use in a particular way.
Along with the right to drive we are given a series of rules to follow. We are given a speed limit, we are given traffic signals, and we are given instructions to take care of other drivers and of pedestrians. If we break those rules than we forfeit our right to our power. When we start acting like everyone else on the road, whether they be in a car, on a bike, or on foot, needs to cater to our wants and desires we have allowed our power, which is no more than a gift, to go to our head and inflate our egos to something beyond what they really are.
There is a lot to be said for being dependent on others. It teaches us humility and it helps us to understand that everything we have is actually a gift, and that goes far beyond legal matters of this world. Abuse of power and freedom was what caused the fall of man.
Everything we have and everything we are is a gift given us from God. Our families, our wealth, or power, our influence, our status and everything we ever achieve in life comes from what God has granted us. He gives these gifts to us freely because he loves and cares for us, but that doesn't mean we have the right to do whatever we want with them.
When we have been abundantly showered with gifts and privileges we somehow start to think like we have a right to them and that for whoever is supplying them to stop handing them our would be wrong, abusive, and/or negligent. There is an honest appreciation and gratitude the blessings we have in life that is lost when we reach a certain point of comfort and success in our lives. This is so blatantly visible in modern American (and probably many European) culture where not only are all our needs met but we live in a land full of excess and plenty. Our entire world becomes centered on what we have a "right" to and what our government and "privileged" members of society owe us. Forget the 1%, the remaining 99% is still better off than those living in mud houses and starving in various developing countries across the world. Our self centered, power blinded attitudes extend far beyond our driving habits. You can see them in our masses scrambling for free benefits and hand outs from the government, you can see them in the business and political realms where people clutch their wealth and influence to their chests as if their lives depend upon it, and you can see it most prominently, in my opinion, in our wanton slaughter of unborn children for the sake of sexual freedom and convenience.
We have power in this county. Not just those living in New York Penthouses, but everyone with food on their plates and clothing on their backs. We have power and we have been exceedingly blessed, and yet instead of being thankful for that and taking the blessings we have been giving to live in love and kindness towards our neighbor we shove each other to the ground in order to demonstrate that we are deserving of more. It happens everyone on every level from driving to our views of religion.
Maybe it is true that going thirty-five in a thirty mph zone isn't going to do any harm. Maybe that is true. But there is a problem in your understanding of what that speed limit and our right to drive means. The Law is not a suggestion for us to follow when we feel like it. We have been granted truly incredible gifts and opportunities, but with those privileges come rules Those rules may not make any sense to us. They might seem unfair or ridiculous, but their power comes not from how much sense they make to us but from the entity that creates them.
Again, I fail in this regard all the time and I am regularly guilty of self-centered actions and pretentious decision making, but I will still confess what I believe to be true regardless of how often I fail to stand up the standards I believe to be right. I may not be able to confess my beliefs and thoughts eloquently or entirely coherently, but what that which is true will stand up on its own regardless of my attempts to support it.
Following the Law to the letter is always what we should do, and bending or breaking it will always be wrong. Thankfully the Gospel and the Resurrection will always be there for us when we mess up, but even the fact that our sins our forgiven doesn't change the fact that they are still sins. The gifts we are given may be ours, but when we abuse them or take them for granted we are at fault.
Anyhow... that is probably enough drowsy ranting for now. I hope, as always, that this is benefit to my readers and not merely incoherent ramblings.
This is the kind of stuff I think about when I'm driving.
Pax
"I believe that God has made me and all creatures; that He has given me my body and soul, eyes, ears, and all my members, my reason and all my senses, and still takes care of them.
He also gives me clothing and shoes, food and drink, house and home, wife and children, land, animals, and all I have. He richly and daily provides me with all that I need to support this body and life.
He defends me against all danger and guards and protects me from all evil.
All this He does only out of fatherly, divine goodness and mercy, without any merit or worthiness in me. For all this it is my duty to thank and praise, serve and obey Him."
(Luther's Small Catechism meaning of the first article of the Apostles Creed)
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Someday...
Someday soon I shall post here again... I have many ideas for posts floating around in the back of my head but school and work seem to be eating up most of my time these days.
Eventually however, I will post another epic for all of you to read. I think the next episode in this grand saga will be about driving.
Eventually however, I will post another epic for all of you to read. I think the next episode in this grand saga will be about driving.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
With Great Responsibility Comes Great Power
Uncle Ben's well worn quote from Spider-Man is certainly true. When you have the ability to do great things you have the responsibility to do those things for the betterment of other people's lives. We are given out talents and abilities so that we can use them for the benefit of our neighbor, that is true. However, I would like to suggest that someone who takes on a great deal of responsibility ends up achieving a great deal of power through their hard work and dedication.
I don't know if I've mentioned this already in a previous post, but I'm a math tutor at my University. In the spring I worked eight hours a week in the tutoring center helping drop-in students who needed assistance, and this semester in addition to working in the tutoring center I'm also working as an assistant for two different math classes as their own personal tutor. Working my job has helped to give me an interesting glimpse into different kinds of students and the way other people approach their problems.
On one end you have the people who might be struggling but will bust their butts and do everything they possibly can to improve and get a passing grade. It may have been ten years since they last took a math class but they will come to the tutoring center for hours a day multiple days a week. They will visit their professor's office hours, they'll watch math videos online, and they'll do dozens upon dozens of practice problems in order to try and make it through a class that is giving them a ton of trouble. These people understand that success in the class depends on them and how much effort and work they put into it.
On the other end you have the people that might come to the tutoring center but they come expecting answers and to complain about their professor for an hour in hopes that you will agree with them and solidify their idea that their F is a result of their prof's bad teaching and not their laziness or lack of ability. These people want to pass without any effort, they want their degree and grades handed to them on a silver platter, and expect everyone else to pull the weight for them. They believe that they have the right to success and that they shouldn't have to lift a finger get it. They will spend hours upon hours just complaining about their professors' accents, speed, examples, and attitude but they just don't have the time to handle the mountainous load of work they've been given. When they ask for your help they are really asking for an answer to their question and don't have any interest in actually learning how to solve the problem.
I love my job because of the first group, and it drives me nuts because of the second group.
The people in the first group understand responsibility and duty and even in the face of probable failure they will keep going and keep trying because they understand that they will only move forward by their own might and ability. The second group of people, when faced with a failing grade, typically seem to try even less and just complain even more as if they expect their whining and moaning to get the job done. Well, news flash. It won't.
This semester I am helping with a College Algebra class and a Pre-Algebra class for people who totally bombed the entrance test. They are the two lowest math classes on campus and the people taking them are either A) people who struggle with math so mightily it is hard to even grasp and B) people who care so little that it doesn't matter what the content of the class is they won't succeed because they don't care. Dealing with these classes has been a really amazing, if painful, eye opener.
My philosophy last spring and over the summer (when I was still tutoring each week in the center for summer classes) has been that anyone can make it over the wall and find the solution eventually and I put a lot of the responsibility for their understanding in my ability to teach them. Well, call me jaded and cynical, but I've come to the conclusion that there are people you can't teach. My dear matriarch always says "You can't fix stupid." Well, let me adjust that to "You can't teach lazy."
In the college algebra class I am helping with, I have hour long "mini-classes" on Fridays each week that people can come to if they are having trouble with the concepts covered in class or struggling with homework. Essentially they are private tutoring sessions available only for that class. The first couple of weeks I didn't really expect anyone to come (and I was right) because all of that is mostly review of previous courses, but a week and a half ago they took their first quiz and the class average was well below a passing grade. Most of the class completely bombed it and it became pretty clear that people were not understanding the material. Well, there is an exam next Monday and to help prepare for the exam I had an additional mini-class this week in the evening so that people would have yet another opportunity to come and get help. Even after seeing their incredibly low grades on the quiz and even with a major test coming up in less than a week now... no one came.
Didn't really hurt me. I still get paid whether or not they show, but I was really frustrated because I want to help these students. I want them to succeed and I'd love to see 100% of the class pass. Well, that's not going to happen. Why? Because they don't care enough. They will not take responsibility, or ownership, of their situation and actually strive toward success. Each week they have at least two online graded exercises they are supposed to complete and close to half the class hasn't even completed one of them yet. Two people, as of Monday, hadn't even signed up for the program yet and we are into week four now. They don't care, they won't put forth the effort and so I can't help them and they are going to fail.
All of college, and really all of life, is about learning to take responsibility for your own actions, choices, and success. What you achieve and how far you go is going to be directly proportional to how much effort you put in. Sure, there people who have greater obstacles than others and there are people who get smooth sailing, but not matter the variables the output of a function is going to depend on what the input is. You might have some kind of a handicap or obstacle that must be overcome, but it is up to you to overcome it. The responsibility to succeed lies in your hands.
Our country doesn't really seem to get that these days. We get away with far too much without actually working for it (this coming from the almost 19 year old living in his parent's basement...), but true success, at least from an earthly prospective, can only come from taking responsibility for your own life.
Speaking from experience, the amount of pleasure and reward that comes from accomplishing something for yourself far exceeds anything that can come from having another person do the heavy lifting. I just very recently got my driver's license and I feel significantly better now that I know driving me to and from work and classes is no longer a burden my parents have to deal with. True, they were happy to do it for me and were willing to make that sacrifice because they love me, but it was time I took that particular aspect of my life into my own hands and started being responsible for getting myself to and fro. Yes, it is a responsibility and paying for gas isn't going to be fun, but I take on that responsibility gladly because I feel like I'm one step closer to actually having the right to calling myself a responsible adult.
If you always let others do things for you than eventually you will be numbed to personal satisfaction so much you can't appreciate a hard days work anymore, but there is something really amazing about having the power to meet your own needs. That kind of a power only comes from taking on responsibility and accepting all the work that goes with it.
In talking with my boss, Captain Kirk, who teaches the College Algebra class I am helping with, we've discussed this topic a lot and how it is all about taking ownership of your college experience, or life, in general. Your success or failure is in your hand. When you put in the work you own the reward. It is a principle this country was founded on and it is a principle that is really woven into reality itself. A worker is deserving of his wages and a diligent student is worthy of their A. My English professor first semester gave me an A on a paper she thought was probably worth a B because it made the different between me getting a B- and a B+ in the class and she told me that, even though my writing wasn't spectacular, I had put a lot of effort into the class over the semester and had showed remarkable progress as a result. They class kicked my butt a number of times and I got a D- on my first paper because I didn't know how to write for an academic audience worth squat. In her mind though, the effort I had displayed, the times I had visited her office, and the emailed questions I had sent her were enough to earn that bump up in my grade. If you take ownership of your life and your work there are real rewards to be had whether they come in the form of self satisfaction, the gratitude of others, or a higher grade.
Theologically speaking the whole pull yourself up by your own bootstraps mentality it all work righteousness and false pride, but even within the Christian faith you cannot live a life of wanton sin and gluttony and expect that all your willful sins will be mopped up and taken care of. It is true that Christ died upon the cross for all people and all sins, regardless of how grievous, and it is also true that without the Holy Spirit we cannot by our own reason or strength believe in the Heavenly Father and come to him, but when given the forgiveness of the death upon the cross and faith through the Holy Spirit we should and are supposed to use our new found faith and freedom for the benefit of other people and do good works for the sake of our neighbor. Even in Christianity where forgiveness is so central to everything you don't get a clear ticket to do whatever you want and expect everyone else to pick up the slack.
I love to help the students that are struggling mightily but want to succeed because my efforts to help them have visible worth. When the light bulb finally comes on and the message finally clicks and sinks in I cannot help but beam with pride at my tutee's accomplishment, but the person coming asking me to solve their homework for them frustrates me to no end.
Your failure or success depends on you. Objects at rest require a push to get them moving, and only you are capable of getting the ball rolling. The next time you feel like insulting your professor or boss suck it up and figure out how to get the problem solved. Other people have been in worse situations than you and have managed to make it through.
You have the opportunity to succeed, but you have to earn it first. Now go for it.
Pax
I don't know if I've mentioned this already in a previous post, but I'm a math tutor at my University. In the spring I worked eight hours a week in the tutoring center helping drop-in students who needed assistance, and this semester in addition to working in the tutoring center I'm also working as an assistant for two different math classes as their own personal tutor. Working my job has helped to give me an interesting glimpse into different kinds of students and the way other people approach their problems.
On one end you have the people who might be struggling but will bust their butts and do everything they possibly can to improve and get a passing grade. It may have been ten years since they last took a math class but they will come to the tutoring center for hours a day multiple days a week. They will visit their professor's office hours, they'll watch math videos online, and they'll do dozens upon dozens of practice problems in order to try and make it through a class that is giving them a ton of trouble. These people understand that success in the class depends on them and how much effort and work they put into it.
On the other end you have the people that might come to the tutoring center but they come expecting answers and to complain about their professor for an hour in hopes that you will agree with them and solidify their idea that their F is a result of their prof's bad teaching and not their laziness or lack of ability. These people want to pass without any effort, they want their degree and grades handed to them on a silver platter, and expect everyone else to pull the weight for them. They believe that they have the right to success and that they shouldn't have to lift a finger get it. They will spend hours upon hours just complaining about their professors' accents, speed, examples, and attitude but they just don't have the time to handle the mountainous load of work they've been given. When they ask for your help they are really asking for an answer to their question and don't have any interest in actually learning how to solve the problem.
I love my job because of the first group, and it drives me nuts because of the second group.
The people in the first group understand responsibility and duty and even in the face of probable failure they will keep going and keep trying because they understand that they will only move forward by their own might and ability. The second group of people, when faced with a failing grade, typically seem to try even less and just complain even more as if they expect their whining and moaning to get the job done. Well, news flash. It won't.
This semester I am helping with a College Algebra class and a Pre-Algebra class for people who totally bombed the entrance test. They are the two lowest math classes on campus and the people taking them are either A) people who struggle with math so mightily it is hard to even grasp and B) people who care so little that it doesn't matter what the content of the class is they won't succeed because they don't care. Dealing with these classes has been a really amazing, if painful, eye opener.
My philosophy last spring and over the summer (when I was still tutoring each week in the center for summer classes) has been that anyone can make it over the wall and find the solution eventually and I put a lot of the responsibility for their understanding in my ability to teach them. Well, call me jaded and cynical, but I've come to the conclusion that there are people you can't teach. My dear matriarch always says "You can't fix stupid." Well, let me adjust that to "You can't teach lazy."
In the college algebra class I am helping with, I have hour long "mini-classes" on Fridays each week that people can come to if they are having trouble with the concepts covered in class or struggling with homework. Essentially they are private tutoring sessions available only for that class. The first couple of weeks I didn't really expect anyone to come (and I was right) because all of that is mostly review of previous courses, but a week and a half ago they took their first quiz and the class average was well below a passing grade. Most of the class completely bombed it and it became pretty clear that people were not understanding the material. Well, there is an exam next Monday and to help prepare for the exam I had an additional mini-class this week in the evening so that people would have yet another opportunity to come and get help. Even after seeing their incredibly low grades on the quiz and even with a major test coming up in less than a week now... no one came.
Didn't really hurt me. I still get paid whether or not they show, but I was really frustrated because I want to help these students. I want them to succeed and I'd love to see 100% of the class pass. Well, that's not going to happen. Why? Because they don't care enough. They will not take responsibility, or ownership, of their situation and actually strive toward success. Each week they have at least two online graded exercises they are supposed to complete and close to half the class hasn't even completed one of them yet. Two people, as of Monday, hadn't even signed up for the program yet and we are into week four now. They don't care, they won't put forth the effort and so I can't help them and they are going to fail.
All of college, and really all of life, is about learning to take responsibility for your own actions, choices, and success. What you achieve and how far you go is going to be directly proportional to how much effort you put in. Sure, there people who have greater obstacles than others and there are people who get smooth sailing, but not matter the variables the output of a function is going to depend on what the input is. You might have some kind of a handicap or obstacle that must be overcome, but it is up to you to overcome it. The responsibility to succeed lies in your hands.
Our country doesn't really seem to get that these days. We get away with far too much without actually working for it (this coming from the almost 19 year old living in his parent's basement...), but true success, at least from an earthly prospective, can only come from taking responsibility for your own life.
Speaking from experience, the amount of pleasure and reward that comes from accomplishing something for yourself far exceeds anything that can come from having another person do the heavy lifting. I just very recently got my driver's license and I feel significantly better now that I know driving me to and from work and classes is no longer a burden my parents have to deal with. True, they were happy to do it for me and were willing to make that sacrifice because they love me, but it was time I took that particular aspect of my life into my own hands and started being responsible for getting myself to and fro. Yes, it is a responsibility and paying for gas isn't going to be fun, but I take on that responsibility gladly because I feel like I'm one step closer to actually having the right to calling myself a responsible adult.
If you always let others do things for you than eventually you will be numbed to personal satisfaction so much you can't appreciate a hard days work anymore, but there is something really amazing about having the power to meet your own needs. That kind of a power only comes from taking on responsibility and accepting all the work that goes with it.
In talking with my boss, Captain Kirk, who teaches the College Algebra class I am helping with, we've discussed this topic a lot and how it is all about taking ownership of your college experience, or life, in general. Your success or failure is in your hand. When you put in the work you own the reward. It is a principle this country was founded on and it is a principle that is really woven into reality itself. A worker is deserving of his wages and a diligent student is worthy of their A. My English professor first semester gave me an A on a paper she thought was probably worth a B because it made the different between me getting a B- and a B+ in the class and she told me that, even though my writing wasn't spectacular, I had put a lot of effort into the class over the semester and had showed remarkable progress as a result. They class kicked my butt a number of times and I got a D- on my first paper because I didn't know how to write for an academic audience worth squat. In her mind though, the effort I had displayed, the times I had visited her office, and the emailed questions I had sent her were enough to earn that bump up in my grade. If you take ownership of your life and your work there are real rewards to be had whether they come in the form of self satisfaction, the gratitude of others, or a higher grade.
Theologically speaking the whole pull yourself up by your own bootstraps mentality it all work righteousness and false pride, but even within the Christian faith you cannot live a life of wanton sin and gluttony and expect that all your willful sins will be mopped up and taken care of. It is true that Christ died upon the cross for all people and all sins, regardless of how grievous, and it is also true that without the Holy Spirit we cannot by our own reason or strength believe in the Heavenly Father and come to him, but when given the forgiveness of the death upon the cross and faith through the Holy Spirit we should and are supposed to use our new found faith and freedom for the benefit of other people and do good works for the sake of our neighbor. Even in Christianity where forgiveness is so central to everything you don't get a clear ticket to do whatever you want and expect everyone else to pick up the slack.
I love to help the students that are struggling mightily but want to succeed because my efforts to help them have visible worth. When the light bulb finally comes on and the message finally clicks and sinks in I cannot help but beam with pride at my tutee's accomplishment, but the person coming asking me to solve their homework for them frustrates me to no end.
Your failure or success depends on you. Objects at rest require a push to get them moving, and only you are capable of getting the ball rolling. The next time you feel like insulting your professor or boss suck it up and figure out how to get the problem solved. Other people have been in worse situations than you and have managed to make it through.
You have the opportunity to succeed, but you have to earn it first. Now go for it.
Pax
Friday, September 6, 2013
Mr. McMusics
I really like music.
I listen to music pretty much whenever I have the opportunity and certain kinds of music can get me rather excited. In part I probably inherited my love for it from my dad who listens to music even more than I do. A lot of my exposure to different bands and genres has come from riding in the car with him as he listens to CD's or playlists he's made. My dad also listens to a pretty wide variety of music and that's probably part of the reason my own tastes vary across a pretty wide spectrum. I can't really say I'm a fan of any particular genre because I have managed to find songs that I both enjoy and abhor in almost every field of music I've been exposed to. Even those genres that I by and large avoid and dislike tend to have a couple of gems hidden amongst the terrible noise that claims to be music.
The thing about music is that, at least for me, it usually gets absorbed without actually being analyzed or thought about too carefully. That may not seem like that big of deal, and maybe it isn't in some ways. I certainly didn't think it was for the longest time. The only problem with just mindlessly listening to music or jamming to a song because it seems kind of catchy and fun is that music is actually a pretty powerful and influential tool that conveys quite a bit of emotion and information even without being accompanied by lyrics.
I know a lot of people who are greatly involved in doing things with music and most of them have talked about how they find music to be a great way for them to express themselves. Music really is, if you think about it, another language. It doesn't really have its own alphabet or culture attached to it, but it is a way of communicating information from one person to another. Additionally, music is incredibly good at getting its message across without us ever really being aware of it. Certain styles of music cause us to react, even unconsciously it seems, in particular ways. Music can excite us or calm us down, and it can play with our moods and emotions like they're puppets on strings. Music is often used to set the mood in movies or at parties of other special occasions and many times it will just be there, almost unnoticed, in the background without us truly being aware of its presents but still having an impact on our minds and emotions as long as we are in hearing distance.
Music in general is a huge part of our society. There are lot of different and varying tastes in music across the country, but it really seems like most people spend a fair amount of their time listening to the stuff. Many stores and restaurants have music playing on the radio in the background which means that even if you don't spend a lot of time listening to music on your own you are probably getting some exposure somewhere. Even if you don't follow the musical trends of our country very closely you can often take a pretty safe stab at what's popular after spending an hour or two listening to the radio where the same half a dozen songs seem to be played in a loop almost continuously.
If you consider how much music people listen to, that music is a language conveying some kind of message and/or emotion, and that music is as incredibly moving and influential as it is then it seems like it would be a good idea to ask what kind of message the music we, as a culture, are listening to is conveying. The music current music industry of any age can help define a generation and set the tone for the majority of the people growing up and living within that age. I hear a lot about 60's, 70's, and 80's era music as though the music that people listened to during those decades helped to shape what kind of society and culture young people made up during that time. When music appears to have that much power over a generation it seems like it would probably be a good idea to know what it is trying to get across to us.
Because I am a terribly bias and opinionated individual, let's start by looking at the music of Taylor Swift. I am no expect on Miss Swift (thank goodness) but I have gotten the impression that she is, at least currently, one of the most popular country singers about and that a very large number of young women in our country listen to her stuff quite frequently and think she is pretty amazing.
Now, on a basic level I actually think Taylor Swift isn't that bad of a musician. She doesn't have a bad voice and I won't deny that, as much as I hate getting them stuck in my head, a lot of her songs are pretty catchy. What I'm looking at though is the kind of message that her songs are delivering to her listeners. I haven't listened to every song she has ever written and song, but I hear a lot of the more popular ones through the radio or when my sister is listening to music and I've got to say that the stuff Miss Swift typically sings about is rather frustrating to me.
The vast majority of her songs seem to be doing one of two things. They are either A) looking at incredibly shallow relationships founded on hyped up emotions without any real grounding or B) bashing the male sex and talking about lame guys are. Maybe I'm just being petty, but those don't really seem like the kinds of mentalities that should be getting enforced in people's minds. No, I do not think that emotions have no place in relationships, and yes, I will admit that there a lot of pretty crummy guys out there but love needs to be founded on a great deal more than just teenage emotions going off the hook and there are guys out there that are actually pretty darn awesome if you bother to look for them and hold them to high enough expectations.
It isn't just Taylor Swift though that is giving off this kind of message. The vast majority of what I hear coming from female artists these days, and to be fair there is probably a lot of it that I don't hear, is all about terrible guys being totally jerks and "love" founded on adrenaline, hormones, and a desire to live in the moment. Maybe this kind of a music is popular because it is a reflection of our young adult and teenage culture these days, but I actually think that that instead of simply resulting from our society they are actually helping to influence it. If young people are regularly listening to music encouraging sexual relationships outside of wedlock and getting deep into relationships with people based on feelings more than anything else then that is going to influence how they view relationships and how they conduct their own lives. I often hear musicians like Taylor Swift described as great role models for young girls and when I can only bang my head on the desk because the stuff I hear her singing about is not the kind of stuff I would want a sister or daughter of mine carrying out in real life.
Let's not be sexist though. Let's look at some of the absolutely terrible stuff that guys sing and listen to as well shall we? Since we talked about Taylor Swift and she sings country let's take a look at what a lot of popular male country singers' songs are about. Well... hmmm... let's see. That ones about shallow relationships based on the appearance of a woman. That one is about alcohol. That one is simultaneously about alcohol and inappropriate activities with numerous women. Yeah, that one belittles women as well... oh and it mentions alcohol. This one talks about women leaving... and so do about a million others.
Yeah, there are a number of actually really good country songs that have some pretty awesome content int hem, but there are also a lot of really popular ones that revel in some pretty terrible stuff. I'm not saying alcohol is evil or anything, but writing a song about how fun it is to get hung over and the stupid stuff you did while drunk... eh... not really sure that's sending the best message.
Actually, in light of what guys typically seem to sing out about a lot of what makes it into the girls' songs starts to make a lot of sense. In my last blog post I talked about what it means to be a man and looking at the general array of popular music sung by males these days I find that the traits and qualities I mentioned in that post to be, by and large, sadly lacking.
Ultimately, we live in the freedom of the Gospel to listen to whatever music we want and listening to stuff that may not be quite so virtuous isn't going to necessarily make us all go out and start reenacting the music, but it is foolish to try argue that the music we listen to as individuals and as a society doesn't have some kind of an impact on us and at the very least we should be aware of what the message we are eating up is.
After all, I think I said already, music doesn't just impart a message to us through the lyrics. It also conveys emotions and a kind of mindset through they kind of sound is creates as well. Classical music can communicate just as much, and sometimes significantly more, than a country, pop, or rock song. While it is usually pretty easy to decipher what message is being given through the lyrics of a song (once you stop and think about them) the emotional message from the sound, or feel, of a song tends to be absorbed more unconsciously, at least for me.
For example, Crazy Train by Ozzy Osborn is one song that I love to listen to. There is something about that song that can make me go from being totally lethargic and lazy to having the urge to get up and do something energetic. A lot of higher energy pieces of music are like that, and that can be a good thing or it can be a bad thing. When you need to get stuff done listening to music that gets you pumped and excited can be helpful but when you are supposed to be driving the speed limit and Crazy Train instills you and urge to put the pedal to metal then you should probably switch listening to something else.
A lot of rap, and heavy metal type music conveys one very strong emotion: anger. There are times and places when feeling angry is very justified. When our safety or the safety of those we love is threatened, or when an injustice is performed we should be outraged, but anger is an emotion that often abused, misdirected and unfounded. In a lot of angry sounded music the message being told seems to not only include anger but, in many cases, violence and hostility. It commonly feeds of the kind of male weakness I talked about in my last post where guys seem to feel the need to express their authority, dominance, and masculinity by getting even with people and by demonstrating their strength through physical prowess and violence. Like I said in the post where I talk about that mindset, that kind of thinking is not what we want to be finding in men and is something we have to strive to avoid. Music that kind of enhances, feeds, and fuels that way of thinking and those emotions can be incredibly dangerous.
So what's the point I'm try to make here? What am I saying and why am I writing this post?
Essentially I am cautioning any who might read this, and really our society as a whole, to think about what you are listening to, what kind of a message it is giving, and why you are listening to it. Music can't be blamed for the problems of our culture and society but they can definitely play a part in influencing the way we think and act in certain scenarios. The information we absorb through music, books, movies and the like is absorbed one way or another and it is important for us to understand what kinds of information we absorbing when we see or hear it.
You are free to listen to whatever it is you want, and the quality or message of the music you listen to doesn't make you a good or bad person, but it will impact you and shouldn't be mindlessly absorbed. There is also plenty of music out there with great messages and very high quality to them that you could potentially listen to and it might be worth asking yourself why you would listen to something that seems to be supporting or advocating immoral and wrong behavior when you could be listening to something else?
Again, why am I saying this?
I am writing this because I love music. I love to listen to it and I would really love it if I was better at creating it. I've made the poor choice to listen to music with some pretty questionable messages in the past and I did so without consciously realizing or processing what it was I was listening to. There was a stretch of several months a while back where I was in a pretty big funk for a while and was dwelling overly much on kind of depressing things. At the same time I was listening to a lot of pretty pessimistic and depressing music and that music, far from helping my mood, was actually kind of reenforcing the self pitying and bummed out thoughts I was having. At several points during this span of time a very dear friend of mine pointed out that the messages being conveyed in the music I was listening to were perhaps not the best for me to be surrounding myself with, but it was quite a while before I took my friend's advice seriously.
Eventually I actually thought about what they had said at some length and that's when I realized how much the music I had been listening to had been affecting my already pretty black mood. That fact wasn't really what ultimately helped me to get out of my funk, but realizing that I was allowing my musical tastes to actually influence and control my emotions was one of the first steps to getting over what I was spending too much time dwelling on.
I still listen to some music that could be classified as being pretty depressing but I'm able to listen to it more objectively at this point and because I am able to better understand the overall message of the music I am listening to I can hear it without it controlling my thoughts and emotions for me.
I could have written a very similar post about the influence of books or movies or any other message conveying media but I think that music is probably the most powerful of any of those. Mainly I would like to see people being more consciously aware of what they taking in and guarding themselves from allowing the less than virtuous messages within a lot of popular culture to influence their decisions and thinking. After all, we are to live in the world but not of it.
Live in the freedom of the Gospel and listen to the music you enjoy, but understand what you are listening to and be the master of your own emotions and decisions.
Anyhow, I have once again failed to express what I hoped to say as clearly and coherently as I had hoped but that's a glimpse at some of my thoughts and musing for today. Now I'm gonna go listen to some more Mumford & Sons and Imagine Dragons.
Pax
I listen to music pretty much whenever I have the opportunity and certain kinds of music can get me rather excited. In part I probably inherited my love for it from my dad who listens to music even more than I do. A lot of my exposure to different bands and genres has come from riding in the car with him as he listens to CD's or playlists he's made. My dad also listens to a pretty wide variety of music and that's probably part of the reason my own tastes vary across a pretty wide spectrum. I can't really say I'm a fan of any particular genre because I have managed to find songs that I both enjoy and abhor in almost every field of music I've been exposed to. Even those genres that I by and large avoid and dislike tend to have a couple of gems hidden amongst the terrible noise that claims to be music.
The thing about music is that, at least for me, it usually gets absorbed without actually being analyzed or thought about too carefully. That may not seem like that big of deal, and maybe it isn't in some ways. I certainly didn't think it was for the longest time. The only problem with just mindlessly listening to music or jamming to a song because it seems kind of catchy and fun is that music is actually a pretty powerful and influential tool that conveys quite a bit of emotion and information even without being accompanied by lyrics.
I know a lot of people who are greatly involved in doing things with music and most of them have talked about how they find music to be a great way for them to express themselves. Music really is, if you think about it, another language. It doesn't really have its own alphabet or culture attached to it, but it is a way of communicating information from one person to another. Additionally, music is incredibly good at getting its message across without us ever really being aware of it. Certain styles of music cause us to react, even unconsciously it seems, in particular ways. Music can excite us or calm us down, and it can play with our moods and emotions like they're puppets on strings. Music is often used to set the mood in movies or at parties of other special occasions and many times it will just be there, almost unnoticed, in the background without us truly being aware of its presents but still having an impact on our minds and emotions as long as we are in hearing distance.
Music in general is a huge part of our society. There are lot of different and varying tastes in music across the country, but it really seems like most people spend a fair amount of their time listening to the stuff. Many stores and restaurants have music playing on the radio in the background which means that even if you don't spend a lot of time listening to music on your own you are probably getting some exposure somewhere. Even if you don't follow the musical trends of our country very closely you can often take a pretty safe stab at what's popular after spending an hour or two listening to the radio where the same half a dozen songs seem to be played in a loop almost continuously.
If you consider how much music people listen to, that music is a language conveying some kind of message and/or emotion, and that music is as incredibly moving and influential as it is then it seems like it would be a good idea to ask what kind of message the music we, as a culture, are listening to is conveying. The music current music industry of any age can help define a generation and set the tone for the majority of the people growing up and living within that age. I hear a lot about 60's, 70's, and 80's era music as though the music that people listened to during those decades helped to shape what kind of society and culture young people made up during that time. When music appears to have that much power over a generation it seems like it would probably be a good idea to know what it is trying to get across to us.
Because I am a terribly bias and opinionated individual, let's start by looking at the music of Taylor Swift. I am no expect on Miss Swift (thank goodness) but I have gotten the impression that she is, at least currently, one of the most popular country singers about and that a very large number of young women in our country listen to her stuff quite frequently and think she is pretty amazing.
Now, on a basic level I actually think Taylor Swift isn't that bad of a musician. She doesn't have a bad voice and I won't deny that, as much as I hate getting them stuck in my head, a lot of her songs are pretty catchy. What I'm looking at though is the kind of message that her songs are delivering to her listeners. I haven't listened to every song she has ever written and song, but I hear a lot of the more popular ones through the radio or when my sister is listening to music and I've got to say that the stuff Miss Swift typically sings about is rather frustrating to me.
The vast majority of her songs seem to be doing one of two things. They are either A) looking at incredibly shallow relationships founded on hyped up emotions without any real grounding or B) bashing the male sex and talking about lame guys are. Maybe I'm just being petty, but those don't really seem like the kinds of mentalities that should be getting enforced in people's minds. No, I do not think that emotions have no place in relationships, and yes, I will admit that there a lot of pretty crummy guys out there but love needs to be founded on a great deal more than just teenage emotions going off the hook and there are guys out there that are actually pretty darn awesome if you bother to look for them and hold them to high enough expectations.
It isn't just Taylor Swift though that is giving off this kind of message. The vast majority of what I hear coming from female artists these days, and to be fair there is probably a lot of it that I don't hear, is all about terrible guys being totally jerks and "love" founded on adrenaline, hormones, and a desire to live in the moment. Maybe this kind of a music is popular because it is a reflection of our young adult and teenage culture these days, but I actually think that that instead of simply resulting from our society they are actually helping to influence it. If young people are regularly listening to music encouraging sexual relationships outside of wedlock and getting deep into relationships with people based on feelings more than anything else then that is going to influence how they view relationships and how they conduct their own lives. I often hear musicians like Taylor Swift described as great role models for young girls and when I can only bang my head on the desk because the stuff I hear her singing about is not the kind of stuff I would want a sister or daughter of mine carrying out in real life.
Let's not be sexist though. Let's look at some of the absolutely terrible stuff that guys sing and listen to as well shall we? Since we talked about Taylor Swift and she sings country let's take a look at what a lot of popular male country singers' songs are about. Well... hmmm... let's see. That ones about shallow relationships based on the appearance of a woman. That one is about alcohol. That one is simultaneously about alcohol and inappropriate activities with numerous women. Yeah, that one belittles women as well... oh and it mentions alcohol. This one talks about women leaving... and so do about a million others.
Yeah, there are a number of actually really good country songs that have some pretty awesome content int hem, but there are also a lot of really popular ones that revel in some pretty terrible stuff. I'm not saying alcohol is evil or anything, but writing a song about how fun it is to get hung over and the stupid stuff you did while drunk... eh... not really sure that's sending the best message.
Actually, in light of what guys typically seem to sing out about a lot of what makes it into the girls' songs starts to make a lot of sense. In my last blog post I talked about what it means to be a man and looking at the general array of popular music sung by males these days I find that the traits and qualities I mentioned in that post to be, by and large, sadly lacking.
Ultimately, we live in the freedom of the Gospel to listen to whatever music we want and listening to stuff that may not be quite so virtuous isn't going to necessarily make us all go out and start reenacting the music, but it is foolish to try argue that the music we listen to as individuals and as a society doesn't have some kind of an impact on us and at the very least we should be aware of what the message we are eating up is.
After all, I think I said already, music doesn't just impart a message to us through the lyrics. It also conveys emotions and a kind of mindset through they kind of sound is creates as well. Classical music can communicate just as much, and sometimes significantly more, than a country, pop, or rock song. While it is usually pretty easy to decipher what message is being given through the lyrics of a song (once you stop and think about them) the emotional message from the sound, or feel, of a song tends to be absorbed more unconsciously, at least for me.
For example, Crazy Train by Ozzy Osborn is one song that I love to listen to. There is something about that song that can make me go from being totally lethargic and lazy to having the urge to get up and do something energetic. A lot of higher energy pieces of music are like that, and that can be a good thing or it can be a bad thing. When you need to get stuff done listening to music that gets you pumped and excited can be helpful but when you are supposed to be driving the speed limit and Crazy Train instills you and urge to put the pedal to metal then you should probably switch listening to something else.
A lot of rap, and heavy metal type music conveys one very strong emotion: anger. There are times and places when feeling angry is very justified. When our safety or the safety of those we love is threatened, or when an injustice is performed we should be outraged, but anger is an emotion that often abused, misdirected and unfounded. In a lot of angry sounded music the message being told seems to not only include anger but, in many cases, violence and hostility. It commonly feeds of the kind of male weakness I talked about in my last post where guys seem to feel the need to express their authority, dominance, and masculinity by getting even with people and by demonstrating their strength through physical prowess and violence. Like I said in the post where I talk about that mindset, that kind of thinking is not what we want to be finding in men and is something we have to strive to avoid. Music that kind of enhances, feeds, and fuels that way of thinking and those emotions can be incredibly dangerous.
So what's the point I'm try to make here? What am I saying and why am I writing this post?
Essentially I am cautioning any who might read this, and really our society as a whole, to think about what you are listening to, what kind of a message it is giving, and why you are listening to it. Music can't be blamed for the problems of our culture and society but they can definitely play a part in influencing the way we think and act in certain scenarios. The information we absorb through music, books, movies and the like is absorbed one way or another and it is important for us to understand what kinds of information we absorbing when we see or hear it.
You are free to listen to whatever it is you want, and the quality or message of the music you listen to doesn't make you a good or bad person, but it will impact you and shouldn't be mindlessly absorbed. There is also plenty of music out there with great messages and very high quality to them that you could potentially listen to and it might be worth asking yourself why you would listen to something that seems to be supporting or advocating immoral and wrong behavior when you could be listening to something else?
Again, why am I saying this?
I am writing this because I love music. I love to listen to it and I would really love it if I was better at creating it. I've made the poor choice to listen to music with some pretty questionable messages in the past and I did so without consciously realizing or processing what it was I was listening to. There was a stretch of several months a while back where I was in a pretty big funk for a while and was dwelling overly much on kind of depressing things. At the same time I was listening to a lot of pretty pessimistic and depressing music and that music, far from helping my mood, was actually kind of reenforcing the self pitying and bummed out thoughts I was having. At several points during this span of time a very dear friend of mine pointed out that the messages being conveyed in the music I was listening to were perhaps not the best for me to be surrounding myself with, but it was quite a while before I took my friend's advice seriously.
Eventually I actually thought about what they had said at some length and that's when I realized how much the music I had been listening to had been affecting my already pretty black mood. That fact wasn't really what ultimately helped me to get out of my funk, but realizing that I was allowing my musical tastes to actually influence and control my emotions was one of the first steps to getting over what I was spending too much time dwelling on.
I still listen to some music that could be classified as being pretty depressing but I'm able to listen to it more objectively at this point and because I am able to better understand the overall message of the music I am listening to I can hear it without it controlling my thoughts and emotions for me.
I could have written a very similar post about the influence of books or movies or any other message conveying media but I think that music is probably the most powerful of any of those. Mainly I would like to see people being more consciously aware of what they taking in and guarding themselves from allowing the less than virtuous messages within a lot of popular culture to influence their decisions and thinking. After all, we are to live in the world but not of it.
Live in the freedom of the Gospel and listen to the music you enjoy, but understand what you are listening to and be the master of your own emotions and decisions.
Anyhow, I have once again failed to express what I hoped to say as clearly and coherently as I had hoped but that's a glimpse at some of my thoughts and musing for today. Now I'm gonna go listen to some more Mumford & Sons and Imagine Dragons.
Pax
Monday, September 2, 2013
Man Up
There is a running joke within my circle of good friends about one of my pals losing his man card to a lady, also a good friend. We tease him because something he told her caused her to do something for him that he probably should have done himself. As a result we say that he lost his man card to his knight in shining petticoats riding side saddle to his rescue.
Besides being totally brilliant and a tad sexist, the whole thing got me thinking a little bit more on what exactly being a manly means and what our "man card" actually signifies.
Earlier this year I read a book titled "The Men's Code of Honor: 66 Principles that Make a Man" by Dan Stanford, and as the title would suggest, the author went through a list of 66 principles, standards, or codes that he believed every true man should follow. They included everything from being honest, ethical, and dependable to standing up for women and children. More subtle, or perhaps less obvious, things like having a firm handshake and being a good steward of our planet were also included in this list.
Last year for my English class in the fall semester I also read an article titled ""Bros Before Hos": The Guy Code" by Michael Kimmel that was all about a study Kimmel conducted to try and determine what young men and women in our culture thought it meant to be manly. Among other things, the list he came up with included: Never cries, gets angry instead of getting sad, gets even, and doesn't show emotion. It was also included in this article that being "gay" was generally considered to be the opposite of being manly (I'm not going to go into my own views on Homosexuality within this particular article even if it kind of relevant.). I was really quite shocked and upset, not only by the first list of things that supposedly made someone manly, but then by the list of things that apparently indicate that someone is "gay". Kimmel created a list of responses he got from the young women he asked "What is an indication a guy is gay?" and their answers included "He is interested in what I have to say," "He has an interest in art or music," and "He looks at my face and not my chest." In other words, these women are, or at least were, under the impression that men who treat them with respect and had more than an animalistic personality are all homosexual and that real men don't care about what they have to say and are only interested in their physical appearance. I was pretty disgusted with what Kimmel's article revealed to be honest.
So, if you compare "The Guy Code" and "The Men's Code of Honor" you end up with two completely different perspectives on what it means to be manly. True, both indicate that showing strength and bravery are part of being manly, but even there there are discrepancies because what the people in Kimmel's article and what Stanford says are strength and bravery are two very different things.
If we can use the Michael Kimmel article as a decent portrayal of the popular, modern culture view of masculinity (and that is what it is meant to be) then I think it can fairly safely sum up the cultural view is this.
1. Masculinity is, at its heart, based on one's ability to dominate another.
2. Strength is determined by physical prowess and one's ability to control others.
3. Emotions and interests in art, music, or beauty in general are considered weaknesses and feminine.
4. Real men see women's bodies, and not their personalities or identities, as being the important thing about them.
Granted, some of those might be some gross generalizations and I know full well that not every young guy and gal in the modern U.S. world believes this, but I have seen much of this first hand and while Kimmel's article kind of forced me to look it in the face, I was semi-aware of a lot of these views already.
The thing is, real masculinity is pretty much the opposite of the four points I just mentioned above.
While there is nothing wrong with physical might, one of the thing that Stanford kinda address in his book (and I quite agree) is that a man's real strength is not in his ability to out lift another person but in his strength of character, and integrity. Then, a man's chief duty is not to dominate or control others, and especially not women, but to defend, protect, and care for them. A man's physical strength is meant to be used as a way to provide for and protect those with lesser strength, not as a means to bend them to his will.
Additionally, emotion, far from being a weakness, can be a great strength as well. Love and sorrow are two incredibly important emotions for a man and without them it is actually pretty hard for him to carry out his duties. Anger, which is the only emotion really supported in popular male culture, is actually kind of anti masculine emotion. Anger, violence, and hatred are like the exact opposite of what a real man is supposed to feel toward others. When those emotions end up governing a man's actions and thoughts that man has truly lost his man card and broken the Men's Code of Honor.
I also have a hard time understanding when exactly art and music supposedly became feminine pursuits. Someone apparently failed to get the message across to Leonardo Di Vinci, Bach, Mozart, and all them other famous artists and musicians. Sure, they may not be specifically masculine pursuits, but that doesn't mean that art and music are the opposite of being masculine. To suggest as much is just plain stupid.
Now, it is the fourth point that I wanted to address most out of the four I listed above because it really seems to be the most dangerous and damaging of the four supposed rules for being "manly" in today's society and because it does, in many ways, reflect back to the first two.
Call me sexist but when it comes to women, a man's duty is first and foremost to defend them, honor them, and treat them with the utmost respect. To treat a woman as a thing, or nothing more than a body to be used, is to fall as far from manhood as one possibly can. Rape, in my opinion, is the most disgusting and degrading act that a man can commit, but by abusing or disrespecting a woman in any way a man shreds his man card to pieces.
In today's culture, where the Feminist movement runs rampant, there is this ridiculous idea that men and women are equal. Now, I'm not about to suggest that men are better than women or that women are better than men because neither of those things is true, but they most certainly are not equal in the sense that they are exactly the same. The two sexes are incredibly different in any number of ways and it is foolish to try and suggest otherwise. We think differently, we feel differently, we act differently, and we are capable of different things. In the same way that an apple does not equal and orange, or that wood doesn't equal metal men and women are not equal. Neither one is superior or inferior, but they are not the same.
Women are capable of a lot of truly remarkable things that men really stink at. The fact that they have the ability to sustain and provide life far beyond what a guy could ever accomplish is just one of many talents the females have. They tend to be a lot better at showing compassion and sympathy toward other people. They're really good at being supportive of their friends and family. They know how to sacrifice their own interests for the sake of others in a way that should put all of us men to shame, and the energy and enthusiasm with which they strive to accomplish their goals is truly astounding.
However, none of this changes the Biblical truth that it is the job of men to defend and lead. We may not be very good at it, but that is our duty and our place. Protecting women and children is among the chief responsibilities of manhood. Men are the be the heads of their household, and they are to provide and care for the women in their lives before they provide for themselves.
The problem is that most people take issue with this idea because, I think, they don't understand what it means for a man to be the head and leader. It does not by any means mean that men have the right to dominate women or to reign as tyrants over them. It doesn't mean that women should have their rights stripped away from them and only serve as obedient slaves.
What being the head and leader chiefly means is sacrifice.
Really, sacrifice is what being a man is all about.
It means working night and day to make sure your wife and children have a roof over their heads. It means shedding blood, sweat, and tears to defend your country, family and friends. It means laying down your life for the sake of another. It means giving up everything you have so that another may go on. It is the exact opposite of domination, control, and using others (especially women) as tools for your enjoyment. Being a real man is the most selfless act that we, as men, can commit.
The ultimate display of masculinity and real manhood was demonstrated when Christ gave himself up to death upon the cross for the sake of the whole world and all the filthy sinners that have ever, and ever will, dwell upon it. As Christ has cared for his church, despite her rebelliousness and thanklessness, real men should care for those around them regardless of how they are treated. No man ever hope to be as truly manly as that perfect man, Christ, but it is in him that we see a perfect example of what we should strive for.
The man who leads a woman does so, not by enslaving her to his will, but by allowing her to live free of life's concerns to the extent he can possibly manage to do so. Father's strive to provide for their daughters and husbands strive to provide for their wives so that they need not worry about the needs of their body, heart, and mind. A woman's head should not be a tyrannical ruler who forces her to do her bidding, but he should be her guide, her protector, her provider, and the first to lay down his life for her benefit.
All four of the "rules of masculinity" in modern culture that I mentioned above stand in direct opposition to this! A man who strives to prove his strength through dominance cannot, at the same time, be fulfilling his duty by lifting another above himself. A man fighting to protect the honor and life of another cannot, at the same time, be fighting to prove his own prowess and might through the subjection of another. A man without emotion, love, compassion and the ability to feel sorrow cannot properly address the needs and emotions of those who depend upon him. Likewise, a man fueled by anger and a need to get even with those who slight him is putting his own self and desires above those of the people he is supposed to care for. Finally, no boy who basis a woman's worth on her physical appearance can ever claim to really claim to be a man. The man who values a woman only for her body is no more than animal.
Again I say, being a man is all about sacrifice. Your man card is not something you can win through feats of extraordinary strength or prowess, nor is it something you can gain through building yourself up by pulling others down. Rather the true measures of a man's worth lies in the number of people he has lifted above himself.
Christ shone in all his radiant glory and splendor as he hung, dying from the cross in order to save those who had scorned and rejected him. When faced with death he did not fight or display some feat of great strength, even though he certainly could have, but he gave himself up for the sake of us all. By taking upon his own shoulders all of our sins, faults, and failings he demonstrated to us all just what true masculinity really is.
On that note, I hope and pray that each and every one of you have been blessed to know a real man. Every boy needs one to look up too and every girl needs one to treat her right.
Pax
(P.S. I apologize for my random and winding thought process. I wanted to get this posted tonight before my Labor Day holiday is finished and I jump back into school so I didn't have take the time to organize my thoughts as much as I would have liked to.
Additionally, I'm posting a list of the 66 principles listed in "A Men's Code of Honor" by Dan Stanford. It is an excellent book that I found very interesting and would encourage all of you to read because he goes into a lot more detail about each of these principles and just listing them doesn't really get the real worth of the book itself.)
Besides being totally brilliant and a tad sexist, the whole thing got me thinking a little bit more on what exactly being a manly means and what our "man card" actually signifies.
Earlier this year I read a book titled "The Men's Code of Honor: 66 Principles that Make a Man" by Dan Stanford, and as the title would suggest, the author went through a list of 66 principles, standards, or codes that he believed every true man should follow. They included everything from being honest, ethical, and dependable to standing up for women and children. More subtle, or perhaps less obvious, things like having a firm handshake and being a good steward of our planet were also included in this list.
Last year for my English class in the fall semester I also read an article titled ""Bros Before Hos": The Guy Code" by Michael Kimmel that was all about a study Kimmel conducted to try and determine what young men and women in our culture thought it meant to be manly. Among other things, the list he came up with included: Never cries, gets angry instead of getting sad, gets even, and doesn't show emotion. It was also included in this article that being "gay" was generally considered to be the opposite of being manly (I'm not going to go into my own views on Homosexuality within this particular article even if it kind of relevant.). I was really quite shocked and upset, not only by the first list of things that supposedly made someone manly, but then by the list of things that apparently indicate that someone is "gay". Kimmel created a list of responses he got from the young women he asked "What is an indication a guy is gay?" and their answers included "He is interested in what I have to say," "He has an interest in art or music," and "He looks at my face and not my chest." In other words, these women are, or at least were, under the impression that men who treat them with respect and had more than an animalistic personality are all homosexual and that real men don't care about what they have to say and are only interested in their physical appearance. I was pretty disgusted with what Kimmel's article revealed to be honest.
So, if you compare "The Guy Code" and "The Men's Code of Honor" you end up with two completely different perspectives on what it means to be manly. True, both indicate that showing strength and bravery are part of being manly, but even there there are discrepancies because what the people in Kimmel's article and what Stanford says are strength and bravery are two very different things.
If we can use the Michael Kimmel article as a decent portrayal of the popular, modern culture view of masculinity (and that is what it is meant to be) then I think it can fairly safely sum up the cultural view is this.
1. Masculinity is, at its heart, based on one's ability to dominate another.
2. Strength is determined by physical prowess and one's ability to control others.
3. Emotions and interests in art, music, or beauty in general are considered weaknesses and feminine.
4. Real men see women's bodies, and not their personalities or identities, as being the important thing about them.
Granted, some of those might be some gross generalizations and I know full well that not every young guy and gal in the modern U.S. world believes this, but I have seen much of this first hand and while Kimmel's article kind of forced me to look it in the face, I was semi-aware of a lot of these views already.
The thing is, real masculinity is pretty much the opposite of the four points I just mentioned above.
While there is nothing wrong with physical might, one of the thing that Stanford kinda address in his book (and I quite agree) is that a man's real strength is not in his ability to out lift another person but in his strength of character, and integrity. Then, a man's chief duty is not to dominate or control others, and especially not women, but to defend, protect, and care for them. A man's physical strength is meant to be used as a way to provide for and protect those with lesser strength, not as a means to bend them to his will.
Additionally, emotion, far from being a weakness, can be a great strength as well. Love and sorrow are two incredibly important emotions for a man and without them it is actually pretty hard for him to carry out his duties. Anger, which is the only emotion really supported in popular male culture, is actually kind of anti masculine emotion. Anger, violence, and hatred are like the exact opposite of what a real man is supposed to feel toward others. When those emotions end up governing a man's actions and thoughts that man has truly lost his man card and broken the Men's Code of Honor.
I also have a hard time understanding when exactly art and music supposedly became feminine pursuits. Someone apparently failed to get the message across to Leonardo Di Vinci, Bach, Mozart, and all them other famous artists and musicians. Sure, they may not be specifically masculine pursuits, but that doesn't mean that art and music are the opposite of being masculine. To suggest as much is just plain stupid.
Now, it is the fourth point that I wanted to address most out of the four I listed above because it really seems to be the most dangerous and damaging of the four supposed rules for being "manly" in today's society and because it does, in many ways, reflect back to the first two.
Call me sexist but when it comes to women, a man's duty is first and foremost to defend them, honor them, and treat them with the utmost respect. To treat a woman as a thing, or nothing more than a body to be used, is to fall as far from manhood as one possibly can. Rape, in my opinion, is the most disgusting and degrading act that a man can commit, but by abusing or disrespecting a woman in any way a man shreds his man card to pieces.
In today's culture, where the Feminist movement runs rampant, there is this ridiculous idea that men and women are equal. Now, I'm not about to suggest that men are better than women or that women are better than men because neither of those things is true, but they most certainly are not equal in the sense that they are exactly the same. The two sexes are incredibly different in any number of ways and it is foolish to try and suggest otherwise. We think differently, we feel differently, we act differently, and we are capable of different things. In the same way that an apple does not equal and orange, or that wood doesn't equal metal men and women are not equal. Neither one is superior or inferior, but they are not the same.
Women are capable of a lot of truly remarkable things that men really stink at. The fact that they have the ability to sustain and provide life far beyond what a guy could ever accomplish is just one of many talents the females have. They tend to be a lot better at showing compassion and sympathy toward other people. They're really good at being supportive of their friends and family. They know how to sacrifice their own interests for the sake of others in a way that should put all of us men to shame, and the energy and enthusiasm with which they strive to accomplish their goals is truly astounding.
However, none of this changes the Biblical truth that it is the job of men to defend and lead. We may not be very good at it, but that is our duty and our place. Protecting women and children is among the chief responsibilities of manhood. Men are the be the heads of their household, and they are to provide and care for the women in their lives before they provide for themselves.
The problem is that most people take issue with this idea because, I think, they don't understand what it means for a man to be the head and leader. It does not by any means mean that men have the right to dominate women or to reign as tyrants over them. It doesn't mean that women should have their rights stripped away from them and only serve as obedient slaves.
What being the head and leader chiefly means is sacrifice.
Really, sacrifice is what being a man is all about.
It means working night and day to make sure your wife and children have a roof over their heads. It means shedding blood, sweat, and tears to defend your country, family and friends. It means laying down your life for the sake of another. It means giving up everything you have so that another may go on. It is the exact opposite of domination, control, and using others (especially women) as tools for your enjoyment. Being a real man is the most selfless act that we, as men, can commit.
The ultimate display of masculinity and real manhood was demonstrated when Christ gave himself up to death upon the cross for the sake of the whole world and all the filthy sinners that have ever, and ever will, dwell upon it. As Christ has cared for his church, despite her rebelliousness and thanklessness, real men should care for those around them regardless of how they are treated. No man ever hope to be as truly manly as that perfect man, Christ, but it is in him that we see a perfect example of what we should strive for.
The man who leads a woman does so, not by enslaving her to his will, but by allowing her to live free of life's concerns to the extent he can possibly manage to do so. Father's strive to provide for their daughters and husbands strive to provide for their wives so that they need not worry about the needs of their body, heart, and mind. A woman's head should not be a tyrannical ruler who forces her to do her bidding, but he should be her guide, her protector, her provider, and the first to lay down his life for her benefit.
All four of the "rules of masculinity" in modern culture that I mentioned above stand in direct opposition to this! A man who strives to prove his strength through dominance cannot, at the same time, be fulfilling his duty by lifting another above himself. A man fighting to protect the honor and life of another cannot, at the same time, be fighting to prove his own prowess and might through the subjection of another. A man without emotion, love, compassion and the ability to feel sorrow cannot properly address the needs and emotions of those who depend upon him. Likewise, a man fueled by anger and a need to get even with those who slight him is putting his own self and desires above those of the people he is supposed to care for. Finally, no boy who basis a woman's worth on her physical appearance can ever claim to really claim to be a man. The man who values a woman only for her body is no more than animal.
Again I say, being a man is all about sacrifice. Your man card is not something you can win through feats of extraordinary strength or prowess, nor is it something you can gain through building yourself up by pulling others down. Rather the true measures of a man's worth lies in the number of people he has lifted above himself.
Christ shone in all his radiant glory and splendor as he hung, dying from the cross in order to save those who had scorned and rejected him. When faced with death he did not fight or display some feat of great strength, even though he certainly could have, but he gave himself up for the sake of us all. By taking upon his own shoulders all of our sins, faults, and failings he demonstrated to us all just what true masculinity really is.
On that note, I hope and pray that each and every one of you have been blessed to know a real man. Every boy needs one to look up too and every girl needs one to treat her right.
Pax
(P.S. I apologize for my random and winding thought process. I wanted to get this posted tonight before my Labor Day holiday is finished and I jump back into school so I didn't have take the time to organize my thoughts as much as I would have liked to.
Additionally, I'm posting a list of the 66 principles listed in "A Men's Code of Honor" by Dan Stanford. It is an excellent book that I found very interesting and would encourage all of you to read because he goes into a lot more detail about each of these principles and just listing them doesn't really get the real worth of the book itself.)
The Men’s Code of Honor
1. Tell the Truth
2. Keep Your Word
3. Mean What You Say, and Say What You Mean
4. Don't Make Excuses
5. Admit Your Mistakes
6. Take Responsibility for Your Actions
7.
Fulfill Your
Obligations and Duties
8.
Finish What You
Start
9.
Respect and
Believe in Yourself
10. Don’t Compromise with Your Principles
11. Respect the Law
12. Play by the Rules
13. Don’t Take Unfair Advantage
14. Don’t Whine
15. Respect the Property of Others
16. Carry Your Share of the Load
17. Be Fair and Just
18. Don’t Gossip
19. Don’t Bully
20. Don’t Be a Braggart
21. Don’t Pry Into Other People’s Business Unnecessarily
22. Harm No One Without Good Cause
23. Use a Firm Handshake
24. Look a Person in the Eye When You Greet Him
25. Do Not Let Anger Rule Your Conduct
26. Do Not let Your Appetites Rule You
27. Stand Tall in the Face of Adversity
28. Do What Needs to be Done
29. Defend Yourself and Your Interests
30. Use Force as a Last Resort, Then Use it Well
31. Be Prepared to Risk Your Life or Safety for a
Greater Good
32. Face Death With Courage
33. Always Stand Guard
34. Honor Women and Their Feminine Nature
35. Never use Force Against a Woman, Except in
Self-Defense
36. Never Force Sex on Anyone
37. Protect Women and Children
38. Do Not Use Crude Language in the Presence of
Children
39. Do Not Use Crude Language in the Presence of Women
Without Their Approval
40. Always Be Faithful to your Romantic Partner
41. Never Steal Another Man’s Romantic Partner
42. Meet the Romantic Needs of your Partner
43. Love and Support Children
44. Provide for Your Family
45. Serve You’re your Children’s needs Before your Own
46. Marry the Mother of Your Children
47. Make Your Home a Sanctuary of Security for Your
Family
48. Do Not Unnecessarily Burden Your Family
49. Don’t Make Your Mother Cry
50. Plan and Prepare for Your Family’s Future
51. Support Actions that Make a Better World for Our
Children
52. Take Pride in Your Work
53. Don’t Be Lazy
54. Treat Your Superiors and Elders with Respect
55. Do the Hard Work, the Dirty Work, the Mechanical
Work, the Dangerous Work, and the Heavy Lifting
56. Always Give and Honest Day’s Labor
57. Defend Your Nation
58. If Call Upon to Lead, Lead with Clarity and Set
Standards of Discipline and Keep Them
59. Be Loyal to Your Family, Group, Nation, and Friends
60. Do Not Desert a Friend or Ally
61. Show Compassion and Mercy for the Weak, the
Dependent, and the Helpless
62. Champion What is Right and Good
63. Confront and Fight Evil
64. Respect the Earth and Her Life Forms
65. Set a Good Example
66. Uphold the Tradition of Men’s Honor by Expecting
Other Men to be Honorable
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