I don't typically consider myself to be a sentimental person.
It isn't very often that I get emotionally attached to a physical object or place. A few of the mementos of my grandfather's (including a cuckoo cluck) would be a notable exception, but even when I do develop a fondness for an object, that fondness doesn't typically extend to any great remorse if it goes missing.
Stuff and places... they will all deteriorate and disappear in the end. A lot of them will get lost or ruined before too long anyway.
People, on the other hand, are different. I get emotionally attached to people fairly easily.
My older brother has been living about an hour and a half away for the past two and a half years as he worked towards the completion of his Master's degree. He and his wife (and within the last year and a half) his daughter have come to visit almost weekly during that entire expanse of time, but this last December he completed his formal education at long last, and just earlier today, he and his little family began their journey south to Texas, the original homeland of my sister-in-law, where they will be living for the foreseeable future. As they look forward to a twenty plus hour drive, I cannot help but look back at the last three... no... twenty years with more than a little sentimentality.
My big brother, Zach, is one of the best men God has ever given me the honor of knowing. A dedicated husband and father, a diligent worker and recent graduate with something like a 3.9 GPA in his Graduate studies after a solid 4.0 in his undergrad, Zach has actually been setting an astounding example for me long before he ever even moved out of the house. Even back years and years ago when he would lead the way into all kinds of mischief and naughtiness, he was still laying the groundwork for the kind of man I wanted to be when I grew up.
That hasn't changed since.
We don't always see eye to eye, and while I disagreements haven't ended in him picking me up and flinging me onto the couch any time in the last several years, there have still been plenty of times when we've gotten frustrated and upset with each other. However, I have to admit that the vast majority of the time, my brother's irritation with me was well deserved, and his often gently delivered reprimands have hit home more than once in a way that yet against has helped to fashion and direct the way I am trying to shape my own life.
I'm not a very sentimental person generally speaking, but right now sentimentality is turning this posts into one of the shortest I've written.
You were my first friend Zach, and you are my best. Saying goodbye to you and your little family this evening was even harder than I could have predicted. Thank you for everything that you have taught me, thank for you for setting such an amazing example of what a brother, a husband, and a father should be like. Today was a reminder that I have a lot of little brothers with whom I am still living and for whom I haven't set nearly as high a standard as you set me, and hopefully I'll take that reminder to heart.
I'm not a very sentimental person, but goodbyes still make me cry.
Love you Broski.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Monday, January 27, 2014
The Cinematic Commentary
Recently I've been doing some thinking about movies.
Last week I introduced a friend to Iron Man for the first time, the new Disney movie Frozen and the slightly less new Tangled have been pretty big topics of conversation among my social circle, and my Sociology class is putting an emphasis both on the general commentary of film and the Hunger Games in particular. These four rather different films don't really have anything particular in common, but movies in general have been floating around in my head, and since I know the readers of this blog just wait with baited breath between my posts, I thought I would share these mental meanderings with all of you.
Also, my university closed today in light of the weather so I can actually justify taking the time to write something.
While my Sociology professor and I have some pretty significant variations in opinion on some pretty fundamentally important issues, we both agree that movies all have an overarching commentary that goes beyond the story displayed to viewers at face value. In some situations, like in Avatar this commentary is pretty frank and obvious, but in other movies the purpose or message behind a film is pretty subtle. In movies like Iron Man, Frozen, and Tangled that seem to exist solely for the sake of entertaining a target audience (albeit pretty different ones) and reaping the financial rewards, underlying political, social, religious, and ethical messages don't necessarily seem entirely obvious or prevalent. Still though, I would argue that even movies that seem to center entirely around thematic adventures and explosions (like Avengers) there are ideas and opinions being expressed and a story being told that goes beyond aliens invading the city of New York.
I think this stems largely from the fact that movies are made by human beings, and when people create a form of art, to some extent they put their beliefs and worldviews into what they are creating. When we watch a film, even one without a story based on political opinion, I think we are given a glimpse into the opinions and beliefs of that films creator even if we can't predict them with absolute certainty, and I would also argue that there is almost always something that a film's creator intends for their audience to get out of their film.
As I go through rehearsals for this production I am going to be in at my university, I am developing and watching my fellow cast members develop back-stories to their characters, and I am hearing my director paint a picture of the kind of world in which our theatrically presented story is supposed to exist. Many of these details will very likely be completely missed by our audience; certainly they are not expressed in the script itself, but they form a background commentary surrounding the main story of the play that our director and our cast is hoping our audience will perceive.
This whole idea of subtle, opinionated messages being presented to use under the guise of harmless children and action films poses some of the same kinds of risks I mentioned in my past blog post about music and the kind of subconscious impact that songs have on us and our emotions. It can be kinda scary to think that everything we watch, and our children watch, is attempting to fashion a worldview for them through cinematic entertainment, but I don't think it is actually that hard to look anything from Sponge Bob and Happy Feet to Man of Steel and The Long Ranger and see that the movies we watch are all putting forward some kind of worldview or another.
The argument that stems from this observation is that we have to be on guard when we watch films and let children watch films to make sure that what they/we are watching isn't attempting to teach them/us false ideas about politics, religion, social roles, and the reality in general. There is a great deal of merit, I think, to this idea in so far as it extends to teaching ourselves to actually think about what we see and hear before simply absorbing it and tucking it away into the back our heads to sit and grow, but the question I ask is: How do we actually absorb the messages we are being presented with?
I would like to believe that humanity, in general, is capable of rationally thinking about the world around them such that they are able to form intelligent decisions about how things really work without just accepting the worldviews and opinions being spoon fed to us through any kind of medium (film or otherwise). While I know it is impractical to assume that everybody actually thinks about an opinion before accepting or rejecting it, it would be foolish to suggest that even children are incapable of forming their own opinions of the films and books being presented to them beyond those intended by the author.
I have had discussions with friends of mine in the past about whether or not the intent of an art creator is the "correct" reading of that art and whether or not interpretation is entirely up to the viewer once the creator has released their work to the world at large. While I definitely think that is worthwhile to think about what a director or writer might have been thinking when fashioning their creation and about what they hoped to express, I think it is also true everyone is going to see films differently because they are going to be seeing them through a lens fashioned by their own beliefs and life experiences.
You car fight over whether or not your reading of a movie is correct, but I think we are faced with either deciding that A) there is not correct interpretation of any particular piece of art or B) the correct interpretation is the one intended by the original creator. You can likely make a good argument for either one of these stances if you try, but I don't see how you could fashion a reasonable argument around the opinion that really know what a movie is about unless are the originator of that movie, and even then your stance is up for debate.
Where am I going with this?
Wait until I finish writing and then maybe I can tell you.
So far I've proposed that all movies have some kind behind the scenes meaning being delivered, and that the meaning people are going to get out of a movie is likely to differ from person to person. If everyone is going to view a movie differently, why bother worrying about the message being presented?
Well, every movie is a piece of fiction. Even if they are "based on a true story" or a documentary, they are fashioned and constructed by individuals to serve as some kind of representation or depiction of reality with fictional qualities. Unless we are talking about raw, unedited footage of real events not being manipulated by the one taking the film, every movie has some kind of a fictional aspect to it. Sometimes those fictional elements are really obvious (we all know New York was not really destroyed by Loki and his army alien warriors, and I am pretty confident when I say that the Hunger Games never really happened), but sometimes they aren't.
When it comes to analyzing a film and paying attention to what matters in it, I think it is a lot more important to look at how people carry out basic conversation and generally treat others than it is to dissect the climax and overall plot, because while we aren't likely to start believing in Batman's existence from film, the way that Batman behaves and the way he makes decisions are works of fiction that can easily work their way into our own day to day thoughts and behaviors.
In in a lot of movies, particularly the kind that I think my peers and those younger than I watch, it is easy to view the film for the flashy elements and entertainment factors without considering the basic views of humanity, dignity, integrity, family, and community being displayed.
When you want to seriously consider the value of a movie, look at the way that men treat women, women treat men, parents treat their children, and children react to their parents. Look at moral justifications that the villains and heroes use to explain their actions, and look at the kinds of words and actions that are deemed permissible and the ones that shunned. These are the kinds of things that play a significant part in the development of the characters we are watching on screen, but they are also the kinds of things that are easy to gloss over and absorb unconsciously in light of the grander actions occurring on screen. Ever young boy wants to be a hero like Batman, Iron Man, Spider-Man, and Superman, but when the costumes come off and they aren't saving the world, what kind of person are those heroes really? Every little girl has her favorite Disney princess, but if you put a princess's personality into a real world context, what kind of a woman are they really?
In every film there are people we are supposed to love, and people we are supposed to hate because of what they do in the course of advancing the plot, but taken out of that context, are they really people deserving our support or contempt?
Maybe they don't seem like important questions (it is all fiction after all!), but I think they are the questions worth considering; especially when young people still forming opinions about themselves, human interaction, and their roles in the world watch the movies. Even though they are fictional relationships, the relationships that people in movies have with each other are still going to have impression on us, and I think they are actually more influential the more we disregard them as being nothing more than make believe.
It is from fiction that we often derive some of greatest heroes, especially as children, and so I think it is important for us to understand what fiction is trying to tell us and what we are actually seeing, because every movie is has commentary that is going to keep running through our heads after we're done seeing it. The question is whether or not we let the movie create that commentary for us, or if we make one of our own.
I know that all of that probably came out as a scrambled discombobulation of random ideas, but such is usually the way I end up thinking. I do typically feel pretty bad when I finish writing a blog post, and look back to an almost impossible trail of thoughts that could probably be summed up in one or two sentences.
In any case, thanks for reading and think about whether or not Tony Stark is really a hero.
Pax
Last week I introduced a friend to Iron Man for the first time, the new Disney movie Frozen and the slightly less new Tangled have been pretty big topics of conversation among my social circle, and my Sociology class is putting an emphasis both on the general commentary of film and the Hunger Games in particular. These four rather different films don't really have anything particular in common, but movies in general have been floating around in my head, and since I know the readers of this blog just wait with baited breath between my posts, I thought I would share these mental meanderings with all of you.
Also, my university closed today in light of the weather so I can actually justify taking the time to write something.
While my Sociology professor and I have some pretty significant variations in opinion on some pretty fundamentally important issues, we both agree that movies all have an overarching commentary that goes beyond the story displayed to viewers at face value. In some situations, like in Avatar this commentary is pretty frank and obvious, but in other movies the purpose or message behind a film is pretty subtle. In movies like Iron Man, Frozen, and Tangled that seem to exist solely for the sake of entertaining a target audience (albeit pretty different ones) and reaping the financial rewards, underlying political, social, religious, and ethical messages don't necessarily seem entirely obvious or prevalent. Still though, I would argue that even movies that seem to center entirely around thematic adventures and explosions (like Avengers) there are ideas and opinions being expressed and a story being told that goes beyond aliens invading the city of New York.
I think this stems largely from the fact that movies are made by human beings, and when people create a form of art, to some extent they put their beliefs and worldviews into what they are creating. When we watch a film, even one without a story based on political opinion, I think we are given a glimpse into the opinions and beliefs of that films creator even if we can't predict them with absolute certainty, and I would also argue that there is almost always something that a film's creator intends for their audience to get out of their film.
As I go through rehearsals for this production I am going to be in at my university, I am developing and watching my fellow cast members develop back-stories to their characters, and I am hearing my director paint a picture of the kind of world in which our theatrically presented story is supposed to exist. Many of these details will very likely be completely missed by our audience; certainly they are not expressed in the script itself, but they form a background commentary surrounding the main story of the play that our director and our cast is hoping our audience will perceive.
This whole idea of subtle, opinionated messages being presented to use under the guise of harmless children and action films poses some of the same kinds of risks I mentioned in my past blog post about music and the kind of subconscious impact that songs have on us and our emotions. It can be kinda scary to think that everything we watch, and our children watch, is attempting to fashion a worldview for them through cinematic entertainment, but I don't think it is actually that hard to look anything from Sponge Bob and Happy Feet to Man of Steel and The Long Ranger and see that the movies we watch are all putting forward some kind of worldview or another.
The argument that stems from this observation is that we have to be on guard when we watch films and let children watch films to make sure that what they/we are watching isn't attempting to teach them/us false ideas about politics, religion, social roles, and the reality in general. There is a great deal of merit, I think, to this idea in so far as it extends to teaching ourselves to actually think about what we see and hear before simply absorbing it and tucking it away into the back our heads to sit and grow, but the question I ask is: How do we actually absorb the messages we are being presented with?
I would like to believe that humanity, in general, is capable of rationally thinking about the world around them such that they are able to form intelligent decisions about how things really work without just accepting the worldviews and opinions being spoon fed to us through any kind of medium (film or otherwise). While I know it is impractical to assume that everybody actually thinks about an opinion before accepting or rejecting it, it would be foolish to suggest that even children are incapable of forming their own opinions of the films and books being presented to them beyond those intended by the author.
I have had discussions with friends of mine in the past about whether or not the intent of an art creator is the "correct" reading of that art and whether or not interpretation is entirely up to the viewer once the creator has released their work to the world at large. While I definitely think that is worthwhile to think about what a director or writer might have been thinking when fashioning their creation and about what they hoped to express, I think it is also true everyone is going to see films differently because they are going to be seeing them through a lens fashioned by their own beliefs and life experiences.
You car fight over whether or not your reading of a movie is correct, but I think we are faced with either deciding that A) there is not correct interpretation of any particular piece of art or B) the correct interpretation is the one intended by the original creator. You can likely make a good argument for either one of these stances if you try, but I don't see how you could fashion a reasonable argument around the opinion that really know what a movie is about unless are the originator of that movie, and even then your stance is up for debate.
Where am I going with this?
Wait until I finish writing and then maybe I can tell you.
So far I've proposed that all movies have some kind behind the scenes meaning being delivered, and that the meaning people are going to get out of a movie is likely to differ from person to person. If everyone is going to view a movie differently, why bother worrying about the message being presented?
Well, every movie is a piece of fiction. Even if they are "based on a true story" or a documentary, they are fashioned and constructed by individuals to serve as some kind of representation or depiction of reality with fictional qualities. Unless we are talking about raw, unedited footage of real events not being manipulated by the one taking the film, every movie has some kind of a fictional aspect to it. Sometimes those fictional elements are really obvious (we all know New York was not really destroyed by Loki and his army alien warriors, and I am pretty confident when I say that the Hunger Games never really happened), but sometimes they aren't.
When it comes to analyzing a film and paying attention to what matters in it, I think it is a lot more important to look at how people carry out basic conversation and generally treat others than it is to dissect the climax and overall plot, because while we aren't likely to start believing in Batman's existence from film, the way that Batman behaves and the way he makes decisions are works of fiction that can easily work their way into our own day to day thoughts and behaviors.
In in a lot of movies, particularly the kind that I think my peers and those younger than I watch, it is easy to view the film for the flashy elements and entertainment factors without considering the basic views of humanity, dignity, integrity, family, and community being displayed.
When you want to seriously consider the value of a movie, look at the way that men treat women, women treat men, parents treat their children, and children react to their parents. Look at moral justifications that the villains and heroes use to explain their actions, and look at the kinds of words and actions that are deemed permissible and the ones that shunned. These are the kinds of things that play a significant part in the development of the characters we are watching on screen, but they are also the kinds of things that are easy to gloss over and absorb unconsciously in light of the grander actions occurring on screen. Ever young boy wants to be a hero like Batman, Iron Man, Spider-Man, and Superman, but when the costumes come off and they aren't saving the world, what kind of person are those heroes really? Every little girl has her favorite Disney princess, but if you put a princess's personality into a real world context, what kind of a woman are they really?
In every film there are people we are supposed to love, and people we are supposed to hate because of what they do in the course of advancing the plot, but taken out of that context, are they really people deserving our support or contempt?
Maybe they don't seem like important questions (it is all fiction after all!), but I think they are the questions worth considering; especially when young people still forming opinions about themselves, human interaction, and their roles in the world watch the movies. Even though they are fictional relationships, the relationships that people in movies have with each other are still going to have impression on us, and I think they are actually more influential the more we disregard them as being nothing more than make believe.
It is from fiction that we often derive some of greatest heroes, especially as children, and so I think it is important for us to understand what fiction is trying to tell us and what we are actually seeing, because every movie is has commentary that is going to keep running through our heads after we're done seeing it. The question is whether or not we let the movie create that commentary for us, or if we make one of our own.
I know that all of that probably came out as a scrambled discombobulation of random ideas, but such is usually the way I end up thinking. I do typically feel pretty bad when I finish writing a blog post, and look back to an almost impossible trail of thoughts that could probably be summed up in one or two sentences.
In any case, thanks for reading and think about whether or not Tony Stark is really a hero.
Pax
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
For All the World's a Stage...
...And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts.
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts.
~ William Shakespeare
I wrote a post last semester about trespassing into an entirely new world within the realm of the university when I auditioned for production theatrical in nature at my school. Well, while I didn't initially make it into the cast, someone fell through, and I found out the final week of classes lass semester that I had been accepted into the thespian inclined ranks of college actors. Now, after three nights of rehearsing with people I will likely see as much or more than my own family over the next month, I feel like I have enough material to write the next post documenting my artistic adventures.
Monday of this week was not only the first day of classes, but it was also the first day of rehearsal. Tentatively I walked through the door of the "conference room" for the arts department and entered into a faction of the university previously shrouded in mystery for me.
Now, I can't remember whether or not I've mentioned this before in any of my posts, but I'm an accounting major. I do know I've mentioned that I work in the math tutoring center as well. Neither math nor business are subjects typically associated with the filed of acting as far as I am aware, so I expected going into this that I would be goose among ducks so to speak, and after the first rehearsal my suspicions were confirmed. Everyone else in the cast just so happens to actually be an acting major or minor. I'm the only one on the team crazy enough to attempt this without planning to make a career out of it.
Fortunately, through working in the university box office as an usher, and through attending the audition workshop last year, there were several people in the crowd that I had at least met before so sitting down at the conference table wasn't as bad as it could have been. However, I still felt a little bit uneasy and like I didn't belong, not necessarily because anyone was making me feel that way, but precisely because everyone else carried on "normally," continued their conversations, and barely reacted (if they reacted at all) to my entrance. Perhaps I am too vain, but I was expecting at least some acknowledgement of the fact that I had suddenly walked in on a group of people who had almost all been through the entire rehearsal to performance cycle with each other before.
Honestly, I felt a little bit like an intruder, but one that nobody particularly minded being there.
Thankfully however, I'm quite the extrovert and I hold the philosophy that if you want to be part of a group, you interject yourself and make yourself part of it. I arrived about half an hour early, and by the time we officially started, I had exchanged a few words and names with the gents around me, and had at least established who I was and why the heck I was there. Also, someone needed a highlighter and I'd brought one, so they declared I was the hero of the night.
The first half an hour or so of "rehearsal" was dedicated to a presentation by all of our tech people where we got to see concept art for costumes, the set, and lighting. I don't think I'm technically supposed to divulge any of the secrets about our non-traditional setting for the play, (oh, I think I forgot to mention that we're doing a watered down version of Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream" to be performed for local grade school children.... I'll just insert that here in the middle of another thought.) so I won't give away and secrets about my costume or what kind of scenery we'll have, but I got to find out all of that Monday night.
Once our tech crew disbanded and fled into the night, we got to do what every college student becomes a master at doing after their first week of classes. We went around in a circle introducing ourselves and sharing an interesting fact or two about our lives. As I usually do, I threw out my typical "shocker" facts and told everyone I had been homeschooled and was the third oldest in a family of ten kids. The guy next to me immediately asked if I was amish, to which I replied in the negative.
"Are you sure you aren't amish? With a name like Nicholai and a family that big..."
Once again, I assured him that I was not a member of the amish faction, and we proceeded around the table to finish out intros. One of my fellow actresses can cluck frighteningly like a chicken.
Following intros we read through the script, and disbanded until the following night.
After that first night I had established a couple of things. (1) I was going to be able to do this. (2) The people I am working with a extremely different from me. (3) The fact that we are a "Children's Play" does not mean the behind the scenes work is "Children's" by any stretch of the imagination. (4) I can handle 2 and 3... probably. (5) This is going to be a worthwhile experience, that I won't regret... probably.
(1) was mostly certainly not something I was certain about even when I initially chose to take a stab at auditions. After initially being rejected... er... turned down, I thought it was quite likely for the best considering all the other obligations I had volunteered for. As I have already mentioned, I felt a little bit like I was trespassing into a world that I didn't particularly belong in, but while I did determine that theater would not at all be the place for me long term, I am pretty confident that I have what it takes to get through four months of it and enjoy it while doing so.
I mean, I signed up for this because I enjoy acting and like the prospect of performing for 6000+ kids in a week so it isn't like I'm dreading it at all.
Now, I can't say that (2) and (3) were really that much of a surprise, but they were kind of a disappointment. It cannot be said that I've found a terribly large number of like minded souls within the walls of my university, so I wasn't expecting to find my doppelganger among the ranks of theater majors, but I was hoping to at least find something that I could latch unto that would give me a connection to these folks. As it is, I think we'll just have to stick to the fact that we're all in this play, enjoy theater, and are working towards a common goal. To be fair, those are all pretty significant factors, I just doubt that we're going to remain bosom friends after the curtain comes down.
A sad truth, but one that I'll live through and learn from.
I mentioned (5) because I definitely don't want to give anyone the impression that I am rethinking the wisdom of my decision to audition and accept me role. This is something that I truly want to do, and it is something that I will benefit from greatly. It is another door for me to put a foot in, and another skill to acquire. It opens the window into another world for me to learn how to understand and appreciate even if I never become part of it. Honestly, when it comes down to it, this whole experience is going to have the same love hate relationship I have with my entire college experience. Why? Because while I can't stand the controversy and the nagging sense of isolation, I can't help loving it at the same time.
The past two nights we worked on blocking the first two thirds of the play. Because we have to perform two back to back shows every morning for a week, the whole thing can only run 50 minutes so blocking one of the three parts only takes one practice (which is good, because we only have three weeks of practices). I have a pretty minor role with very few lines, so I haven't actually had to stay for the entirety of a rehearsal yet, but both practices have been quite the learning experience.
We have started, and will continue to start, with a variety of warm ups including saying tongue twisters as fast as we can, doing lip trills, and passing "BA's!" back and forth to each other in a circle. As of right now, I am terrible at tongue twisters, but I have requested a list of the most commonly used ones from my directory and plan to rectify that situation before all is done and over with. I don't like being the worst in a group at something, so even when I have no hope of actually succeeding, I will always do my best to rise above whatever is standing between me and my actually displaying some sort of talent.
After warm ups, we headed straight into blocking which turns out to be a process very similar to that introduced to me by the Duchess in my past theatrical experiences, only she didn't curse to demonstrate the types of emotions we were supposed to be displaying during those practices. (Thank you Duchess Olivia for your composure.) I have established my character as the moron of the group that falls down when able and doesn't have a clue of what's ever going on. (Acting becomes really easy when you just have to be yourself!)
I enjoy it the most when I have an assigned task to perform, because when I don't... well... I'm left with still trying to establish where I belong among my fellow cast members.
Right now, I feel kind of like a spider inching onto a web other than its own and uncertain about the strength and nature of the territory it is infringing upon. Every step of the way I'm testing the durability of the string upon which I am attempting to walk. At times the tension seems palpable and I feel like it a very thin thread indeed. At times I start to feel like I am almost settling in and figuring out what role I am supposed to operate within, and then something disturbs the web and I get a flash of... not hostility... but resistance. The temperament of my fellow cast is certainly more open than most of my classmates, but it is not that of my good friends. In my testing and tip-toeing about I have already seen glimpses or personalities that would not appreciate me settling into the personality I adopt for when I dwell among my closest peers.
Obviously, we're still in the early stages of everything, and time will probably allow me to get a better sense of what I'm supposed to be doing and who I'm supposed to be, but I've set myself up to be the one spearheading the group as much as possible in the last few years and I haven't had experience with really being at the bottom of the pecking order since ye olde brother of mine moved out and I started forming friendships of my own instead of trying to tag along for the ride whenever he did something with his pals. I can't say it is a position I feel entirely comfortable in, and yet I acknowledge it is a role I need to learn how to handle.
There is a lot of motivational propaganda that floats about, especially on the internet, these days about staying true to yourself and not trying to be what other people want you to be, and to a certain extent I will raise my glass to such a mantra, but it is also true that I admittedly have a variety of masks that I wear depending on my social surrounding. Shakespeare is entirely right when he says that the world is a stage and that a man plays many parts.
My role changes depending on those who around me, and where I am, and I adjust as necessary to meet the requirements of the present day. I am one person around me family, another around my classmates, yet another at work, and again another with my friends. Now I am fashioning a new mask for a new role in the world of university theater. I don't think any one of these Nick's is the "true one" but rather each is a reflection of one aspect of my personality or another that I choose to show based on what's going on at the time.
It seems ironic that I would have such a hard time determining my role and learning how to play my part among actors.
I think the greatest challenge for me, and honestly the one I am looking forward to the most, is not going to be getting on stage and delivering my lines to hundreds of people. Instead it is going to be figuring out how to operate in a new world among new people, and if I am successful, that is a skill that I can be proud of and that I can apply to every day of my life from here onward.
Because that's the big question isn't it?
What's my part? Or if you prefer, what's my vocation?
What role must I play?
Who am I supposed to be? Here. Now. In this time, in this place, and with these people.
All the men and women are merely players, and in our time we have our exists and our entrances. In my time I shall play many parts, and they shall all be mine, and I shall make them the best parts they could possibly be. This whole experience with my school's theater department and this play are an opportunity for me to once again find my place, my identity, and my role within a part of society. A new facet of my vocation has been unearthed, and another part has been given me.
What about you? What's your part? What's your vocation?
This world is full of a lot of thin webs to walk upon, but you'll never really know yourself until you take a step out there and take the plunge.
Think on that.
I know I do.
Pax
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Some Self-Reflection and a Glance Forward
I am deeply flawed person.
It probably wouldn't take someone long to come up with a list of my more glaringly obvious faults and failings. My family will tell you that I have a quick temper and a moody disposition at times. I'm sure my friends would happily tell you about my tendency to ramble and monopolize conversation, and even my classmates who typically go an entire semester without really getting to know me at all, could probably give you an idea of my overbearing and pompous personality traits. Not even those closest to me, however, have ever had the chance to actually look into my head or heart and see my most painful and crippling flaws.
Yeah, there are a lot of things wrong with me.
I'm impatient, nosy, inconsiderate, insensitive, and pushy. I spend far too little time thinking about how my words and actions will impact others, and that's usually because I'm too busy trying to figure out how to satisfy my own selfish appetites. I disregard the concerns and feelings of others when I don't think they really make any sense, or when they appear frivolous to me. Too often I fall pray to those mood swings that are always looming over me, and "Oh poor me." far too frequently becomes the chant of my mind if not my lips.
The list of things that are wrong with me is so long I can't even comprehend it.
Trying to come up with a list of New Year's resolutions is an overwhelming task, and as I look back on the past year in an attempt to take tally of the things I would like to change about myself, I am nigh overwhelmed by the terrifying weight of all the mistakes I have made and the injuries I have caused. In fact, I put into mind of a particular song from a particular musical that I fell in love with just last year.
The cry of a man finally forced to face all of the wrong he has committed in his life, and nearly driven mad by the crushing, and unrelenting force that is the truth.
We deserve to die.
Like Jean Valjean in Les Miserables, every last one of us will one way or another be forced to face the fact that we are despicable, fallen, and failing sinners who deserve naught but death. Like Jean Valjean, I look back at some of my words and actions from the last year, heck even the last month, and I can only ask "What have I done? Sweet Jesus what I done?"
However, like Jean Valjean, I am not left to my own devices and doomed to face the consequences of becoming a thief in the night and a dog on the run. Despite all that he has done, Valjean finds forgiveness in Christ and the church. Despite the fact that he is faced with many, many years of hatred and wrong doing lying in his past, he at last recognizes and receives a forgiveness for all the wrong that frees him from what he describes as the whirlpool of his sin, and moves forward to become not only a better man, but a good man. Jean Valjean becomes a man who ends up dedicating his life, and in the end sacrificing it, to care for and raise a young girl to whom he is not related and to whom he legally and realistically owes nothing.
Why?
Because in being freed from the chains of guilt that plagued him, he was freed to live beyond his own failings for the sake others. Not by his own worthiness and strength, but by the worthiness and strength of the one who bought and paid for his faults, was Jean Valjean able to become a new man, a good man.
As I look back across 2013 and forward to the rest of 2014, I can only thank God that I too have be given the opportunity to be a new man, a good man, and that despite the fact that I day after day add to the list of mistakes I have made, every day I am forgiven and in that forgiveness I made a new man again.
2013 was a big year for me in a lot of ways and on a lot of levels. I made a lot of ground in both work and school. I got a driver's license and "inherited" a car. I was blessed with the opportunity to take numerous trips to visit numerous friends, and got to spend close to two fulls weeks with my lovely sister and her family from across the country. A lot happened to me as a person as well though, and I feel like passing classes and getting jobs pale in comparison to some of the lessons I've learned since January 2013. At last I was able to lay to rest some old demons that had been haunting me for some time, and with that came the opening of news doors that will hopefully carry me on to many different, and significantly better places.
More than anything else, I feel much more content than I did this time a year ago. I spent quite a bit of time in early 2013 feeling very anxious, frustrated, and restless with myself, my situation in life, where I was headed, and how fast I was getting there. I actually kind of enjoyed it when school and work were all consuming because it mean I wasn't wasting my time worrying about other things. There were loose ends from 2012 I didn't know how to take care of, and I was afraid of what the rest of the year was going to bring. I wasn't entirely confident with the path I had chosen for a degree and education, but mostly that was because I didn't know where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do with it. I was, quite simply, restless. I was struggling to redefine my identity and what I wanted out of life, and it was driving me up the wall.
I don't feel any of that now.
As I get ready to take on 2014 when it really hits me in full force on Monday with the return of work and school, I am looking forward to the next twelve months with an optimist and enthusiasm that was definitely lacking toward the end of my winter break last year. The kind internal anguish and confusion that plagues Jean Valjean in his soliloquy, and that ranged in my own mind at various times in the last few years isn't there anymore. I feel like I new man, made new by the New Man over the past months by my friends and family who have helped me to grow and change into a better person daily, despite all those painful and shameful errors ingrained within me I mentioned earlier.
A year ago I felt like I was missing a purpose or a path to follow, but this year I have wind in my sails and something driving me. True, true, I will hit a lot of bumps in the road and you will no doubt find me complaining and whining every now and then, because my flaws aren't ever going to completely go away, but that's part of life.
2013 was a big year for me. During the twelve months it encompassed I grew a lot.
God willing, 2014 is going to be another big year, and my resolution from here on out is to keep growing, and to use my faults and failings as a starting point.
The process has already begun, really it began a little over nineteen years ago when I was first born, but in recent months I've finally gotten comfortable with embracing that fact, the fact that life is always going to consist of growing, and dieing, and being born again as a new man in the New Man. I don't necessarily need a firm destination set in place every step of the way, I don't necessarily need to be guaranteed success, and I don't have to be perfect, not on my own.
I'll make a lot of mistakes this year, and I want to apologize in advanced to all the people I'm going to hurt, offend, and upset unfairly, because I know that I will do that quite often.
I am deeply flawed person.
Until the last day, I will continue to be so, but everyday I am also a new man, bought and paid for by the body and blood of our Lord and washed white in the blood of the Lamb. I am a deeply flawed person, but that's OK, because in the end even Javert and the Law can't call me guilty when I've been declared forgiven.
Here I stand, I can do no other.
Happy New Year and a Blessed Epiphany to you all,
Pax
The Soliloquy of Jean Valjean
It probably wouldn't take someone long to come up with a list of my more glaringly obvious faults and failings. My family will tell you that I have a quick temper and a moody disposition at times. I'm sure my friends would happily tell you about my tendency to ramble and monopolize conversation, and even my classmates who typically go an entire semester without really getting to know me at all, could probably give you an idea of my overbearing and pompous personality traits. Not even those closest to me, however, have ever had the chance to actually look into my head or heart and see my most painful and crippling flaws.
Yeah, there are a lot of things wrong with me.
I'm impatient, nosy, inconsiderate, insensitive, and pushy. I spend far too little time thinking about how my words and actions will impact others, and that's usually because I'm too busy trying to figure out how to satisfy my own selfish appetites. I disregard the concerns and feelings of others when I don't think they really make any sense, or when they appear frivolous to me. Too often I fall pray to those mood swings that are always looming over me, and "Oh poor me." far too frequently becomes the chant of my mind if not my lips.
The list of things that are wrong with me is so long I can't even comprehend it.
Trying to come up with a list of New Year's resolutions is an overwhelming task, and as I look back on the past year in an attempt to take tally of the things I would like to change about myself, I am nigh overwhelmed by the terrifying weight of all the mistakes I have made and the injuries I have caused. In fact, I put into mind of a particular song from a particular musical that I fell in love with just last year.
"What have I done?
Sweet Jesus, what have I done?
Become a thief in the night
Become a dog on the run
And have I fallen so far
And is the hour so late
That nothing remains but the cry of my hate?"
Sweet Jesus, what have I done?
Become a thief in the night
Become a dog on the run
And have I fallen so far
And is the hour so late
That nothing remains but the cry of my hate?"
The cry of a man finally forced to face all of the wrong he has committed in his life, and nearly driven mad by the crushing, and unrelenting force that is the truth.
We deserve to die.
Like Jean Valjean in Les Miserables, every last one of us will one way or another be forced to face the fact that we are despicable, fallen, and failing sinners who deserve naught but death. Like Jean Valjean, I look back at some of my words and actions from the last year, heck even the last month, and I can only ask "What have I done? Sweet Jesus what I done?"
However, like Jean Valjean, I am not left to my own devices and doomed to face the consequences of becoming a thief in the night and a dog on the run. Despite all that he has done, Valjean finds forgiveness in Christ and the church. Despite the fact that he is faced with many, many years of hatred and wrong doing lying in his past, he at last recognizes and receives a forgiveness for all the wrong that frees him from what he describes as the whirlpool of his sin, and moves forward to become not only a better man, but a good man. Jean Valjean becomes a man who ends up dedicating his life, and in the end sacrificing it, to care for and raise a young girl to whom he is not related and to whom he legally and realistically owes nothing.
Why?
Because in being freed from the chains of guilt that plagued him, he was freed to live beyond his own failings for the sake others. Not by his own worthiness and strength, but by the worthiness and strength of the one who bought and paid for his faults, was Jean Valjean able to become a new man, a good man.
As I look back across 2013 and forward to the rest of 2014, I can only thank God that I too have be given the opportunity to be a new man, a good man, and that despite the fact that I day after day add to the list of mistakes I have made, every day I am forgiven and in that forgiveness I made a new man again.
2013 was a big year for me in a lot of ways and on a lot of levels. I made a lot of ground in both work and school. I got a driver's license and "inherited" a car. I was blessed with the opportunity to take numerous trips to visit numerous friends, and got to spend close to two fulls weeks with my lovely sister and her family from across the country. A lot happened to me as a person as well though, and I feel like passing classes and getting jobs pale in comparison to some of the lessons I've learned since January 2013. At last I was able to lay to rest some old demons that had been haunting me for some time, and with that came the opening of news doors that will hopefully carry me on to many different, and significantly better places.
More than anything else, I feel much more content than I did this time a year ago. I spent quite a bit of time in early 2013 feeling very anxious, frustrated, and restless with myself, my situation in life, where I was headed, and how fast I was getting there. I actually kind of enjoyed it when school and work were all consuming because it mean I wasn't wasting my time worrying about other things. There were loose ends from 2012 I didn't know how to take care of, and I was afraid of what the rest of the year was going to bring. I wasn't entirely confident with the path I had chosen for a degree and education, but mostly that was because I didn't know where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do with it. I was, quite simply, restless. I was struggling to redefine my identity and what I wanted out of life, and it was driving me up the wall.
I don't feel any of that now.
As I get ready to take on 2014 when it really hits me in full force on Monday with the return of work and school, I am looking forward to the next twelve months with an optimist and enthusiasm that was definitely lacking toward the end of my winter break last year. The kind internal anguish and confusion that plagues Jean Valjean in his soliloquy, and that ranged in my own mind at various times in the last few years isn't there anymore. I feel like I new man, made new by the New Man over the past months by my friends and family who have helped me to grow and change into a better person daily, despite all those painful and shameful errors ingrained within me I mentioned earlier.
A year ago I felt like I was missing a purpose or a path to follow, but this year I have wind in my sails and something driving me. True, true, I will hit a lot of bumps in the road and you will no doubt find me complaining and whining every now and then, because my flaws aren't ever going to completely go away, but that's part of life.
2013 was a big year for me. During the twelve months it encompassed I grew a lot.
God willing, 2014 is going to be another big year, and my resolution from here on out is to keep growing, and to use my faults and failings as a starting point.
The process has already begun, really it began a little over nineteen years ago when I was first born, but in recent months I've finally gotten comfortable with embracing that fact, the fact that life is always going to consist of growing, and dieing, and being born again as a new man in the New Man. I don't necessarily need a firm destination set in place every step of the way, I don't necessarily need to be guaranteed success, and I don't have to be perfect, not on my own.
I'll make a lot of mistakes this year, and I want to apologize in advanced to all the people I'm going to hurt, offend, and upset unfairly, because I know that I will do that quite often.
I am deeply flawed person.
Until the last day, I will continue to be so, but everyday I am also a new man, bought and paid for by the body and blood of our Lord and washed white in the blood of the Lamb. I am a deeply flawed person, but that's OK, because in the end even Javert and the Law can't call me guilty when I've been declared forgiven.
Here I stand, I can do no other.
Happy New Year and a Blessed Epiphany to you all,
Pax
The Soliloquy of Jean Valjean
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Merry Christmas, Homophobic Hunters, and Overreacting
It is that time of year again folks! That time of year when everyone gathers together with beloved friends and family members to share in a great bounty of loving kindness and generosity. It is that time of year when we strive to think the best of people and treat everyone with fairness and compassion. It is that time of year where nigh everyone is celebrating some Holiday or another, and people are full to bursting with excitement and anticipation. There is so much love, thoughtfulness, and goodwill toward men floating around the air it is almost overwhelming!
Isn't it wonderful how you can go out shopping and jovially wish someone a Merry Christmas just to have them glare at you and return a bitter sounding "Happy Holidays"? I can't tell you how much I love seeing my Facebook news feed exploding with debates over a Louisiana Duck Hunting hillbilly's personal opinions. The best part of those debates though is that they consist of a lot of mud slinging and insulting of the opposition. I mean, I was afraid I was going to start missing all the political warfare and vicious slander from last year's presidential debates, but thankfully Phil's statement seems to have sparked enough controversy to keep that kind of heated "debate" going during this generous and gift giving season.
Ah, can you smell that *deep breath* that's the smell of peace on earth and goodwill toward men; the smell of yet another special season being turned into a battleground for personal grudges and a ravenous desire for controversy.
Now, don't get me wrong, I have some pretty strong feelings about politics and religion (as you've probably seen in my other posts), and I'm not suggesting anyone lay aside their beliefs and look away for the sake of us all just getting along. I am the other of "The Opinion Section" after all, and I hold to the principle that if you believe in something you should fight for it. If you honestly feel like the Duck Dynasty vs. A&E issue is something worth beating to death over the internet through inconsiderate comments about your opponent and whining over the bigotry/hostility of the world then go for it.
Far be it from me to rain on your parade.
What frustrates me is something that everyone in every party of every current debate seems to be guilty of (including myself). People establish a personal opinion on a topic like wishing Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays or on freedom of a TV Celebrity to make a racial slur, and that's all fine and good. It really is a good thing to have an opinion on the issues of the day, but what I find to be utterly ridiculous is how passionately and yet simultaneously irrationally people drive their opinions forward while beating senseless the opposing opinion.
I'm a Christian, I'm a confessional conservative Lutheran who believes that Christmas should be a celebration of the Nativity of our Lord and Savior, and so as we approach the twelve days of Christmas I'm going to happily wish people "Merry Christmas!" because I think that something like the Son of God coming down to earth as an infant human for the sake of growing, living, and dying for the forgiveness of our sins is something worth celebrating and sharing. Maybe you aren't Christian, maybe you don't believe any of that stuff I just said. If you don't we clearly have a pretty major disagreement, but I can respect that. Despite what some people might think, I am not trying to shove my religious beliefs down the throats of every atheist, Jewish, and Islamic person in the world. However, neither am I on a crusade to keep the Christ in CHRISTmas and ensure that the whole world know that the only think worth celebrating and thinking about in the month of December is the birth of our Lord.
See, while I celebrate Christmas the way I do because I am Christian, I am not ignorant of the fact that other people celebrate the month of December for other reasons and I am not not going hold that against them. The Fourth of July isn't a religious holiday and has absolutely nothing to do with my religious beliefs, but I have no problem celebrating that occasion and wishing others a Happy Independence day. If someone from another country (Britain for example) comes to the States and I happen to see them on the 4th of July, and I wish them a Happy Fourth, I am not trying to shove my political stance and beliefs of my nation down their throats and force them to start a revolution in their country for the sake of founding a Democratic Republic. Likewise, if someone wishes me a Happy Holidays or a Happy Hanukkah, I am not going to take offense and rage at them about destroying the meaning of the Christmas season. They are celebrate their own holiday, they are celebrating their own thing and even though that thing isn't my thing, I have no reason to oppose them celebrating. If anything, I should be happy that they have a reason to celebrate! The fact that other people don't celebrate the birth of Christ in no way endangers Christmas or the fate of Christianity itself.
Instead, I will smile and be happy when someone returns my "Merry Christmas" with another "Merry Christmas" because they are someone who is sharing my own joy, but if someone wishes my a "Happy Holidays" or "Happy Hanukkah," I will return the same greeting, because I truly hope that they will enjoy their celebration as much as I will enjoy mine. These greetings are not about taking a side, or forwarding the cause of your particular religion/holiday, but about sharing each others' joy, appreciation, and celebration of the season and everything that is happening. If you are a Christian, there is no reason for you to think that people referring to Christmas as "The Holidays" is going to somehow undo Jesus's birth, and if you are an atheist you shouldn't feel like someone wishing you a "Merry Christmas" is going to result in a god appearing who will inevitably mess up your science.
Just share the spirit of community and happiness that surrounds a holiday, any holiday, and try not to make something that should be a happy occasion into a source of contention and rivalry.
Granted, I am greatly to blame for picking fights where fights aren't necessary and for overreacting to silly things, but I acknowledge that I am acting wrongly, foolishly, and pointlessly when I do that. I achieve nothing, and potentially inure quite a lot.
I think, at the heart of the problem, humanity seems to feel an urge to drift towards conflict and controversy. We aren't really content with the idea of peace on earth and goodwill toward men. I mean, we can't even get along at family holiday gatherings, how are we supposed to get along with the entire rest of the world?!?! If something of a controversial nature springs up you only have to sit back and wait for the masses to spring upon it like ravenous wolves starving for a good bit of juicy controversy. Those people on Facebook who spam their own walls with memes about the same issue over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again almost have to be passing out with giddy excitement when something like the Duck Dynasty issue emerges. "At last!" they say "I can once again lock myself into mortal combat with the great enemy (insert political or religious affiliation here) and demonstrate my superior intelligence, wisdom, and righteousness by insulting and belittling them till the cows come home!"
Since starting college, I have a much wider variety of political and religious beliefs scattered amongst my Facebook friends. Now, when some "news worthy" event occurs, I get to see both sides of the argument begin to swell within my news feed, and the thing that really saddens me is that I see a very similar approach being taken on both of the sides. Whether or not I agree with them, it seems like everyone is intent to contribute the most shocking and antagonistic posts to their cause for the sake of seeing how people will react and baiting them into an argument. I see blog posts, I see memes, and I see comments that come out of the blue with no rational evidence supporting them that ultimately boil down to "I disagree with you and you are a complete and utter moron for having that opinion of yours."
After the Duck Dynasty controversy started spilling out all over Facebook and I hear multiple variations of the story, I went ahead and looked up what Phil actually said to cause such an uproar. I realized several things as I read the quotes from his interview. 1) Phil is not a very tactful or eloquent person, 2) some of the things he said actually did seem rather offensive 3) I agreed with his overall opinion and 4) the obsession over what he said is entirely unwarranted.
Now, I'm not gay, I'm not black, and I am not supportive of homosexuality by any stretch of the imagination, but homosexual people are still people and I can totally see how the gay community would be offended and irritated by his comments. I can also see how the black community would be fairly miffed, and it seems like his comments about slavery were pretty ignorant (although they certainly didn't seem malicious). What doesn't make sense is how violently people responded to his comments, and how violently people responded to the violent response! I get that if you're gay or you great-grandfather was an abused slave you'd have a bone to pick with Phil, but there is absolutely no reason to get the dude fired and call for his public humiliation and downfall. At the same time, if the liberals are going to go nuts and lose their heads over something as inconsequential as one man's personal opinions (one man who realistically has no power or political influence), then what do you really hope to gain by entering the battlefield guns blazing?
Sure, Phil is entirely entitled to his own personal opinion. Sure, what he said was said in a private interview in response to a question. Sure, his opposition is being hypocritical and unfair because they say just as bad things about red necks and hillbillies, but fighting fire with fire accomplishes nothing and just puts you on the same level as the people you are fighting with (same goes for you liberals).
I feel like our society, as a whole, has no concept of agreeing to disagree. I feel like everyone is under the impression that not fighting to the death for the truth will resulting that truth no longer being true, when in fact the truth is not dependent on anyone's personal opinion, regardless of how many anyones there are. If you believe that Phil's comments were those of a bigot, and that he sorely misunderstands both slavery and homosexuals, than ignore him as an ignorant and insensitive southern duck hunter and move on with your life assured by the fact that his comments can never change the truth. If you believe that Jesus Christ was both God and Man, born of the Virgin Mary for our sakes, then don't get your knickers in a knot over people celebrating other things because they can't change what Christ has done for you!
There are things worth fighting for. There are things worth dying for.
A person's holiday greeting and the personal opinions of a celebrity don't fall into either of those categories.
We all make mistakes. We all get carried away, and I do so on a daily basis. There is always the temptation to overreact and take up arms, especially for a sensitive issue, but ultimately that isn't excuse. When you are struck, turn the other cheek and rest assured that no earthly prince can ever actually harm you.
I grew up being homeschooled (and I'll never regret that), and in the homeschool community we tend to kind of look down on the publicly educated. I grew up conservative (and I remain that way), and in the conservative community we tend to look down on the liberal. I grew up Christian (and I remain that way), and in the Christian community we tend to look down on every other denomination on top of every non-Christian. I continue to hold onto the values and beliefs I grew up with, but since entering the secular university setting I have realized more that your education, your political stance, and your religious beliefs don't change the fact that you are a human being for whom Christ suffered and died upon the cross, and in a world where we are all sinful human beings wrought with the disease of death, none of us has the right to look down on anyone. All men were created equal under God, and whether or not we disagree with each other doesn't change that.
Next time someone says or does something you don't like, remember that a person's a person no matter how small and everyone deserves your respect regardless of whether or not that deserves you support and consent.
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and God Bless.
Pax
Isn't it wonderful how you can go out shopping and jovially wish someone a Merry Christmas just to have them glare at you and return a bitter sounding "Happy Holidays"? I can't tell you how much I love seeing my Facebook news feed exploding with debates over a Louisiana Duck Hunting hillbilly's personal opinions. The best part of those debates though is that they consist of a lot of mud slinging and insulting of the opposition. I mean, I was afraid I was going to start missing all the political warfare and vicious slander from last year's presidential debates, but thankfully Phil's statement seems to have sparked enough controversy to keep that kind of heated "debate" going during this generous and gift giving season.
Ah, can you smell that *deep breath* that's the smell of peace on earth and goodwill toward men; the smell of yet another special season being turned into a battleground for personal grudges and a ravenous desire for controversy.
Now, don't get me wrong, I have some pretty strong feelings about politics and religion (as you've probably seen in my other posts), and I'm not suggesting anyone lay aside their beliefs and look away for the sake of us all just getting along. I am the other of "The Opinion Section" after all, and I hold to the principle that if you believe in something you should fight for it. If you honestly feel like the Duck Dynasty vs. A&E issue is something worth beating to death over the internet through inconsiderate comments about your opponent and whining over the bigotry/hostility of the world then go for it.
Far be it from me to rain on your parade.
What frustrates me is something that everyone in every party of every current debate seems to be guilty of (including myself). People establish a personal opinion on a topic like wishing Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays or on freedom of a TV Celebrity to make a racial slur, and that's all fine and good. It really is a good thing to have an opinion on the issues of the day, but what I find to be utterly ridiculous is how passionately and yet simultaneously irrationally people drive their opinions forward while beating senseless the opposing opinion.
I'm a Christian, I'm a confessional conservative Lutheran who believes that Christmas should be a celebration of the Nativity of our Lord and Savior, and so as we approach the twelve days of Christmas I'm going to happily wish people "Merry Christmas!" because I think that something like the Son of God coming down to earth as an infant human for the sake of growing, living, and dying for the forgiveness of our sins is something worth celebrating and sharing. Maybe you aren't Christian, maybe you don't believe any of that stuff I just said. If you don't we clearly have a pretty major disagreement, but I can respect that. Despite what some people might think, I am not trying to shove my religious beliefs down the throats of every atheist, Jewish, and Islamic person in the world. However, neither am I on a crusade to keep the Christ in CHRISTmas and ensure that the whole world know that the only think worth celebrating and thinking about in the month of December is the birth of our Lord.
See, while I celebrate Christmas the way I do because I am Christian, I am not ignorant of the fact that other people celebrate the month of December for other reasons and I am not not going hold that against them. The Fourth of July isn't a religious holiday and has absolutely nothing to do with my religious beliefs, but I have no problem celebrating that occasion and wishing others a Happy Independence day. If someone from another country (Britain for example) comes to the States and I happen to see them on the 4th of July, and I wish them a Happy Fourth, I am not trying to shove my political stance and beliefs of my nation down their throats and force them to start a revolution in their country for the sake of founding a Democratic Republic. Likewise, if someone wishes me a Happy Holidays or a Happy Hanukkah, I am not going to take offense and rage at them about destroying the meaning of the Christmas season. They are celebrate their own holiday, they are celebrating their own thing and even though that thing isn't my thing, I have no reason to oppose them celebrating. If anything, I should be happy that they have a reason to celebrate! The fact that other people don't celebrate the birth of Christ in no way endangers Christmas or the fate of Christianity itself.
Instead, I will smile and be happy when someone returns my "Merry Christmas" with another "Merry Christmas" because they are someone who is sharing my own joy, but if someone wishes my a "Happy Holidays" or "Happy Hanukkah," I will return the same greeting, because I truly hope that they will enjoy their celebration as much as I will enjoy mine. These greetings are not about taking a side, or forwarding the cause of your particular religion/holiday, but about sharing each others' joy, appreciation, and celebration of the season and everything that is happening. If you are a Christian, there is no reason for you to think that people referring to Christmas as "The Holidays" is going to somehow undo Jesus's birth, and if you are an atheist you shouldn't feel like someone wishing you a "Merry Christmas" is going to result in a god appearing who will inevitably mess up your science.
Just share the spirit of community and happiness that surrounds a holiday, any holiday, and try not to make something that should be a happy occasion into a source of contention and rivalry.
Granted, I am greatly to blame for picking fights where fights aren't necessary and for overreacting to silly things, but I acknowledge that I am acting wrongly, foolishly, and pointlessly when I do that. I achieve nothing, and potentially inure quite a lot.
I think, at the heart of the problem, humanity seems to feel an urge to drift towards conflict and controversy. We aren't really content with the idea of peace on earth and goodwill toward men. I mean, we can't even get along at family holiday gatherings, how are we supposed to get along with the entire rest of the world?!?! If something of a controversial nature springs up you only have to sit back and wait for the masses to spring upon it like ravenous wolves starving for a good bit of juicy controversy. Those people on Facebook who spam their own walls with memes about the same issue over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again almost have to be passing out with giddy excitement when something like the Duck Dynasty issue emerges. "At last!" they say "I can once again lock myself into mortal combat with the great enemy (insert political or religious affiliation here) and demonstrate my superior intelligence, wisdom, and righteousness by insulting and belittling them till the cows come home!"
Since starting college, I have a much wider variety of political and religious beliefs scattered amongst my Facebook friends. Now, when some "news worthy" event occurs, I get to see both sides of the argument begin to swell within my news feed, and the thing that really saddens me is that I see a very similar approach being taken on both of the sides. Whether or not I agree with them, it seems like everyone is intent to contribute the most shocking and antagonistic posts to their cause for the sake of seeing how people will react and baiting them into an argument. I see blog posts, I see memes, and I see comments that come out of the blue with no rational evidence supporting them that ultimately boil down to "I disagree with you and you are a complete and utter moron for having that opinion of yours."
After the Duck Dynasty controversy started spilling out all over Facebook and I hear multiple variations of the story, I went ahead and looked up what Phil actually said to cause such an uproar. I realized several things as I read the quotes from his interview. 1) Phil is not a very tactful or eloquent person, 2) some of the things he said actually did seem rather offensive 3) I agreed with his overall opinion and 4) the obsession over what he said is entirely unwarranted.
Now, I'm not gay, I'm not black, and I am not supportive of homosexuality by any stretch of the imagination, but homosexual people are still people and I can totally see how the gay community would be offended and irritated by his comments. I can also see how the black community would be fairly miffed, and it seems like his comments about slavery were pretty ignorant (although they certainly didn't seem malicious). What doesn't make sense is how violently people responded to his comments, and how violently people responded to the violent response! I get that if you're gay or you great-grandfather was an abused slave you'd have a bone to pick with Phil, but there is absolutely no reason to get the dude fired and call for his public humiliation and downfall. At the same time, if the liberals are going to go nuts and lose their heads over something as inconsequential as one man's personal opinions (one man who realistically has no power or political influence), then what do you really hope to gain by entering the battlefield guns blazing?
Sure, Phil is entirely entitled to his own personal opinion. Sure, what he said was said in a private interview in response to a question. Sure, his opposition is being hypocritical and unfair because they say just as bad things about red necks and hillbillies, but fighting fire with fire accomplishes nothing and just puts you on the same level as the people you are fighting with (same goes for you liberals).
I feel like our society, as a whole, has no concept of agreeing to disagree. I feel like everyone is under the impression that not fighting to the death for the truth will resulting that truth no longer being true, when in fact the truth is not dependent on anyone's personal opinion, regardless of how many anyones there are. If you believe that Phil's comments were those of a bigot, and that he sorely misunderstands both slavery and homosexuals, than ignore him as an ignorant and insensitive southern duck hunter and move on with your life assured by the fact that his comments can never change the truth. If you believe that Jesus Christ was both God and Man, born of the Virgin Mary for our sakes, then don't get your knickers in a knot over people celebrating other things because they can't change what Christ has done for you!
There are things worth fighting for. There are things worth dying for.
A person's holiday greeting and the personal opinions of a celebrity don't fall into either of those categories.
We all make mistakes. We all get carried away, and I do so on a daily basis. There is always the temptation to overreact and take up arms, especially for a sensitive issue, but ultimately that isn't excuse. When you are struck, turn the other cheek and rest assured that no earthly prince can ever actually harm you.
I grew up being homeschooled (and I'll never regret that), and in the homeschool community we tend to kind of look down on the publicly educated. I grew up conservative (and I remain that way), and in the conservative community we tend to look down on the liberal. I grew up Christian (and I remain that way), and in the Christian community we tend to look down on every other denomination on top of every non-Christian. I continue to hold onto the values and beliefs I grew up with, but since entering the secular university setting I have realized more that your education, your political stance, and your religious beliefs don't change the fact that you are a human being for whom Christ suffered and died upon the cross, and in a world where we are all sinful human beings wrought with the disease of death, none of us has the right to look down on anyone. All men were created equal under God, and whether or not we disagree with each other doesn't change that.
Next time someone says or does something you don't like, remember that a person's a person no matter how small and everyone deserves your respect regardless of whether or not that deserves you support and consent.
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and God Bless.
Pax
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
The Love, Relationships, and Controversy Series Part IV: Couples
Now that it is more than a week past when I originally planned on posting this, I am finally getting around to typing out the last of my posts in this series. Thus far I've talked about the way we develop friendships and express love, the kinds of love and friendship between men, and the kinds of non-romantic kinds of love and friendship between people of different genders. At last it has come time for me to write about what we all typically think of when we think of love and relationships.
Within my personal social circles there are very few topics discussed and debated quite as much as that of relationships and how they should be handled, viewed, carried out, introduced, etc. etc. It is a topic that people tend to be both passionate and biased toward, and one where there is a great reluctance to listen to any contrary pieces of advice or suggestions from anyone else because either A) there is no way anyone else could ever understand what they are thinking or B) they have enough experience under the belt and have studied relationships enough that they clearly know better than anyone else how relationships should function. It is a topic where the pendulum of opinion seems to either swing toward the extreme of absolute slackness and freedom within a romantic relationship to the extreme of their being only one proper way for every relationship ever to be handled.
I am going to try and walk the line between those tempting extremes and lay out what I have observed, experienced, think, and feel about the whole subject in a way that you can at least appreciate if not agree with. The key thing to understand when thinking about relationships of a more romantic nature is that, while there are certainly truths and realities about human nature that apply to pretty much the entire human race, everyone is different and when you start putting two people together, an even more unique situation occurs. It absolutely a good idea, in my opinion, to draw upon past experiences and knowledge you have gathered in your own relationships and the relationships of friends/siblings/children/parents etc, but always try to keep in mind that the circumstances and nature of every relationship is going to vary. This is something I tend to have trouble remembering myself, but I encourage you all, as I divulge my personal opinions, to take my words with a grain of salt and understand that I am not trying to lay down an unwavering ultimatum.
No, on with the show...
Because there is a kind of natural chronological progression for romantic relationships between the interest being sparked and the knot being tied, I figure it makes the most sense to start at the beginning and conclude with the ending.
I know it sounds a little bit cheesy (w are talking about romantic love here), but your future spouse should be your best friend, and I think every romantic relationship should be founded on a strong friendship. Feelings and twitterpation are all fine and good, but they aren't going to stand the test of time all on their own. Before you even consider entering into a more serious, romance orientated relationship with someone, you should a friendship already established and a friendship based on common interests and beliefs. Your significant other should be someone who believes the same foundational principles as you when it comes things like politics and especially religion. While it is entirely possible for relationships between people of different political stances and faiths to work out, I don't see how that could ever be easy and I've seen several scenarios where it makes things rough for both the couple and their children. If you think about it, your religious faith is a pretty massively important thing, and if you really believe the teachings of your religion that you have to hold those teachings above your personal feelings for another person. If you can't have common ground on issues like then you are asking for trials and troubles ahead.
Long term, functional relationships are going to need some kind of common ground to stand on when the going gets rough and the rough gets going, because real life likes to throw a lot of curve balls our way, and during those times we tend to get depressed, frustrated, angry, and confused and if you are in a relationship with someone where your passionate feelings and emotion based love for them is what you are depending on for success, that depression, frustration, and anger is going to override your twitterpation and things are going to go south pretty quickly. (No offense Texas.)
Of course, this is all assuming you are looking at relationships being a long term investment in the first place. For me, when you enter in a romantic relationship with another person and become "an item" you are making a decision to work towards something. These relationships aren't stationary things that exist in some kind of limbo. The longer you are in a relationship, the more difficulties and temptations you are going to face, and if you don't have some kind of goal or purpose to which you are working, things are going to get messy. Regardless of how you operate your boyfriend/girlfriend experience, I firmly believe that every romantic relationship should be founded on the purpose of either moving towards marriage or determining that your boyfriend/girlfriend isn't someone you could marry. If you reach the latter conclusion you should back out and end the thing, because otherwise you are committing more and more of yourself and your time into something that is going to escalate without ever having a way to vent or focus that escalation.
I have heard the argument that you have to date a variety of people, or enter into open ended relationships because otherwise you don't have any way of finding out whether or not someone is "the right person" or not. There appears to be this idea that it is only through expressing outward romantic affection, dedicating vast amounts of time to a specific person, and potentially going as far as living with/sleeping with someone are you able to determine whether or not they are someone you could marry and love for the duration of your life. I would like to propose that this way of thinking is utter nonsense.
Firstly, if you are getting to know someone as a close friend like I have already suggested as being important for a relationship to work well, than you should know that person pretty well already before you ever enter into a relationship with them. When you are in dating/courting someone you do learn things about them that you don't in regular routine interactions, but when it comes to figuring out whether or not someone is the kind of person you could spend your life with, it is the day to day routine activities that are most likely to make or break the deal. How someone handles stress/frustration/anger disappointment, how someone treats other people of your gender, how someone treats their parents and siblings, and how someone juggles their responsibilities are all things that you can learn pretty easily without ever moving in with them. These things, along the previously mentioned political and religious beliefs, are significant traits and points of interest about someone that you find out about just by being close friends.
Secondly, you don't exactly "figure out" whether or not someone is a person you can love and dedicate your life to. Twitterpation and infatuation are all fine and dandy, but the lightheaded thoughts and feelings you experience about that special person early on in a relationship aren't going to last indefinitely. so it isn't like you've found "the right person" as soon as your heart starts fluttering. The kind of love that is associated with couples is the kind of love that you chose. You make the individual choice to personally nurture and grow the relationship between yourself and another person, and from that comes the kind of lifelong, steadfast, loving relationships that we see in couples celebrating their 40th, 50th, 60th, and greater wedding anniversaries. It is true that when you are in a relationship with someone before marriage you should be looking for evidence that you two will be able to function as a couple later on in life, as well as reasons to why you wouldn't make a good married couples (if you find those you need to address them or end the relationship), but ultimately you have to choose whether or not that relationship is going to work and then you make it work.
Relationships are growing and changing things, and like and growing thing, you have to care for them and watch over them to make sure that they remain healthy and strong. The most beautiful and magnificent flower in the world will wither and die if left uncared for, and if you "find the perfect person" and then decide that you were meant to be together and that nothing could go wrong as a result, there is a lot of potential for things to turn pretty nasty. Likewise, a neglected and seemingly unspectacular plant could end up growing and flourishing under a nurturing and tender hand. A seemingly unlikely relationship could end up working out quite well if both parties decide to actively work together on it. Love is something you have to work at, and you have to choose to work at it. When you enter into a relationship with someone you have to commit to putting your back into it and pouring blood, sweat, and tears into making it turn out right.
Eventually, once you and your best friend have made the active and continual decision to pursue a relationship, and you have found that you share enough common ground, beliefs, and opinions that you actually want to spend the rest of your lives together, you get to move onto the next stage: Engagement.
Again, I understand that everyone is different, but I don't understand the decision to enter into an engagement and then wait two... three.... four... or more years until you actually get married. Once you have made the for sure decision to get married and share your lives than you don't want to wait any longer than you have to. I haven't been engaged myself, but I've known quite a few people that have been engaged and I've watched a lot of those relationships go from beginning to end. During the engagement seems to be when emotions are the most fevered, and feelings are the most sensitive. That's when people seem to start questioning their decisions and getting panicky just because the time to make that final commitment is rapidly approaching. Once you have gotten engaged though, you have essentially promised to make the vows that you will on your wedding day. You aren't actually married yet, but you have promised each other that you will be, and I don't see why you'd want to drag out the time between making that first promise and fulfilling it.
Instead, it seems to me like it would be so much more helpful to you and your spouse to be if you wait to get engaged until you actually are ready to fully commit and get married in the very near future. Spend the time leading up to that point getting to know each other better and better, because there is really not much you can do as couple before engagement that you can do as couple engaged. Like I said, I haven't been engaged yet myself, but the only thing I've seen prolonged engagements do is weaken relationships because the hype surrounding them can only last so long and eventually seems to turn into impatience, frustration, and a lack of interest... but that's just my two cents.
When the day finally comes for the wedding however, I feel like there are a few things that I can speak to with absolute certainty. For one, we are far too receptive to the idea of divorce in our culture. When you get married you are making a promise, a very serious promise, to love and cherish your spouse until death do you part. Baring abuse, there is almost no good reason for two people to divorce. The wedding is that point where your choice to continue loving and caring for someone gets locked in, and you really shouldn't be able to just back out anymore. You take relationships and engagements leading up to that point seriously, because once you have exchanged vows and the service has ended things should be set in stone.
Honestly, I think one of culture's greatest weaknesses when it comes to this entire topic is that we don't, as a whole, seem to really understand what marriage really means. When you marry someone you are leaving your mother and father behind and are becoming one flesh. You and the person you marry are entering into a vocation ordained by God, and it is a vocation that should not be taken lightly. What God has brought together let no man break asunder! Marriage is really not for the sake of personal convenience or pleasure, it is for the benefit of the community and world at large when husband and wife appreciate and understand the significance of their duties to each other, and to their children. If you never get married there is nothing wrong with that, but if you do it should not be because you want to make yourself, or even your spouse, happy. Marriage is about family, it is about the church, and it is about making you and your spouse better people for the wider community.
Unfortunately, what I cannot figure out how to say what I want to any more eloquently than that. For honestly, what more is there to be said? At its heart love is a choice that you make, and one that you fight for against you own sinful temptations and flaws. Acknowledging this, and acknowledging that love and relationships are not about us and our personal happiness, makes everything so much clearer and easier.
I cannot say that this series went exactly the way I wanted it to. I never feel quite satisfied with what I have to say once I finish, and I fell way behind schedule, but my hope is perhaps some of you gained some insights from my thoughts, or at least enjoyed/appreciated reading them. The whole topic is infinitely more complex than what I touched upon here, and I could write a million posts without being able to say all that there is to say, but hopefully what I did say is worth reading.
If you got this far, than thanks for reading and have a Merry Christmas!
Pax
Within my personal social circles there are very few topics discussed and debated quite as much as that of relationships and how they should be handled, viewed, carried out, introduced, etc. etc. It is a topic that people tend to be both passionate and biased toward, and one where there is a great reluctance to listen to any contrary pieces of advice or suggestions from anyone else because either A) there is no way anyone else could ever understand what they are thinking or B) they have enough experience under the belt and have studied relationships enough that they clearly know better than anyone else how relationships should function. It is a topic where the pendulum of opinion seems to either swing toward the extreme of absolute slackness and freedom within a romantic relationship to the extreme of their being only one proper way for every relationship ever to be handled.
I am going to try and walk the line between those tempting extremes and lay out what I have observed, experienced, think, and feel about the whole subject in a way that you can at least appreciate if not agree with. The key thing to understand when thinking about relationships of a more romantic nature is that, while there are certainly truths and realities about human nature that apply to pretty much the entire human race, everyone is different and when you start putting two people together, an even more unique situation occurs. It absolutely a good idea, in my opinion, to draw upon past experiences and knowledge you have gathered in your own relationships and the relationships of friends/siblings/children/parents etc, but always try to keep in mind that the circumstances and nature of every relationship is going to vary. This is something I tend to have trouble remembering myself, but I encourage you all, as I divulge my personal opinions, to take my words with a grain of salt and understand that I am not trying to lay down an unwavering ultimatum.
No, on with the show...
Because there is a kind of natural chronological progression for romantic relationships between the interest being sparked and the knot being tied, I figure it makes the most sense to start at the beginning and conclude with the ending.
I know it sounds a little bit cheesy (w are talking about romantic love here), but your future spouse should be your best friend, and I think every romantic relationship should be founded on a strong friendship. Feelings and twitterpation are all fine and good, but they aren't going to stand the test of time all on their own. Before you even consider entering into a more serious, romance orientated relationship with someone, you should a friendship already established and a friendship based on common interests and beliefs. Your significant other should be someone who believes the same foundational principles as you when it comes things like politics and especially religion. While it is entirely possible for relationships between people of different political stances and faiths to work out, I don't see how that could ever be easy and I've seen several scenarios where it makes things rough for both the couple and their children. If you think about it, your religious faith is a pretty massively important thing, and if you really believe the teachings of your religion that you have to hold those teachings above your personal feelings for another person. If you can't have common ground on issues like then you are asking for trials and troubles ahead.
Long term, functional relationships are going to need some kind of common ground to stand on when the going gets rough and the rough gets going, because real life likes to throw a lot of curve balls our way, and during those times we tend to get depressed, frustrated, angry, and confused and if you are in a relationship with someone where your passionate feelings and emotion based love for them is what you are depending on for success, that depression, frustration, and anger is going to override your twitterpation and things are going to go south pretty quickly. (No offense Texas.)
Of course, this is all assuming you are looking at relationships being a long term investment in the first place. For me, when you enter in a romantic relationship with another person and become "an item" you are making a decision to work towards something. These relationships aren't stationary things that exist in some kind of limbo. The longer you are in a relationship, the more difficulties and temptations you are going to face, and if you don't have some kind of goal or purpose to which you are working, things are going to get messy. Regardless of how you operate your boyfriend/girlfriend experience, I firmly believe that every romantic relationship should be founded on the purpose of either moving towards marriage or determining that your boyfriend/girlfriend isn't someone you could marry. If you reach the latter conclusion you should back out and end the thing, because otherwise you are committing more and more of yourself and your time into something that is going to escalate without ever having a way to vent or focus that escalation.
I have heard the argument that you have to date a variety of people, or enter into open ended relationships because otherwise you don't have any way of finding out whether or not someone is "the right person" or not. There appears to be this idea that it is only through expressing outward romantic affection, dedicating vast amounts of time to a specific person, and potentially going as far as living with/sleeping with someone are you able to determine whether or not they are someone you could marry and love for the duration of your life. I would like to propose that this way of thinking is utter nonsense.
Firstly, if you are getting to know someone as a close friend like I have already suggested as being important for a relationship to work well, than you should know that person pretty well already before you ever enter into a relationship with them. When you are in dating/courting someone you do learn things about them that you don't in regular routine interactions, but when it comes to figuring out whether or not someone is the kind of person you could spend your life with, it is the day to day routine activities that are most likely to make or break the deal. How someone handles stress/frustration/anger disappointment, how someone treats other people of your gender, how someone treats their parents and siblings, and how someone juggles their responsibilities are all things that you can learn pretty easily without ever moving in with them. These things, along the previously mentioned political and religious beliefs, are significant traits and points of interest about someone that you find out about just by being close friends.
Secondly, you don't exactly "figure out" whether or not someone is a person you can love and dedicate your life to. Twitterpation and infatuation are all fine and dandy, but the lightheaded thoughts and feelings you experience about that special person early on in a relationship aren't going to last indefinitely. so it isn't like you've found "the right person" as soon as your heart starts fluttering. The kind of love that is associated with couples is the kind of love that you chose. You make the individual choice to personally nurture and grow the relationship between yourself and another person, and from that comes the kind of lifelong, steadfast, loving relationships that we see in couples celebrating their 40th, 50th, 60th, and greater wedding anniversaries. It is true that when you are in a relationship with someone before marriage you should be looking for evidence that you two will be able to function as a couple later on in life, as well as reasons to why you wouldn't make a good married couples (if you find those you need to address them or end the relationship), but ultimately you have to choose whether or not that relationship is going to work and then you make it work.
Relationships are growing and changing things, and like and growing thing, you have to care for them and watch over them to make sure that they remain healthy and strong. The most beautiful and magnificent flower in the world will wither and die if left uncared for, and if you "find the perfect person" and then decide that you were meant to be together and that nothing could go wrong as a result, there is a lot of potential for things to turn pretty nasty. Likewise, a neglected and seemingly unspectacular plant could end up growing and flourishing under a nurturing and tender hand. A seemingly unlikely relationship could end up working out quite well if both parties decide to actively work together on it. Love is something you have to work at, and you have to choose to work at it. When you enter into a relationship with someone you have to commit to putting your back into it and pouring blood, sweat, and tears into making it turn out right.
Eventually, once you and your best friend have made the active and continual decision to pursue a relationship, and you have found that you share enough common ground, beliefs, and opinions that you actually want to spend the rest of your lives together, you get to move onto the next stage: Engagement.
Again, I understand that everyone is different, but I don't understand the decision to enter into an engagement and then wait two... three.... four... or more years until you actually get married. Once you have made the for sure decision to get married and share your lives than you don't want to wait any longer than you have to. I haven't been engaged myself, but I've known quite a few people that have been engaged and I've watched a lot of those relationships go from beginning to end. During the engagement seems to be when emotions are the most fevered, and feelings are the most sensitive. That's when people seem to start questioning their decisions and getting panicky just because the time to make that final commitment is rapidly approaching. Once you have gotten engaged though, you have essentially promised to make the vows that you will on your wedding day. You aren't actually married yet, but you have promised each other that you will be, and I don't see why you'd want to drag out the time between making that first promise and fulfilling it.
Instead, it seems to me like it would be so much more helpful to you and your spouse to be if you wait to get engaged until you actually are ready to fully commit and get married in the very near future. Spend the time leading up to that point getting to know each other better and better, because there is really not much you can do as couple before engagement that you can do as couple engaged. Like I said, I haven't been engaged yet myself, but the only thing I've seen prolonged engagements do is weaken relationships because the hype surrounding them can only last so long and eventually seems to turn into impatience, frustration, and a lack of interest... but that's just my two cents.
When the day finally comes for the wedding however, I feel like there are a few things that I can speak to with absolute certainty. For one, we are far too receptive to the idea of divorce in our culture. When you get married you are making a promise, a very serious promise, to love and cherish your spouse until death do you part. Baring abuse, there is almost no good reason for two people to divorce. The wedding is that point where your choice to continue loving and caring for someone gets locked in, and you really shouldn't be able to just back out anymore. You take relationships and engagements leading up to that point seriously, because once you have exchanged vows and the service has ended things should be set in stone.
Honestly, I think one of culture's greatest weaknesses when it comes to this entire topic is that we don't, as a whole, seem to really understand what marriage really means. When you marry someone you are leaving your mother and father behind and are becoming one flesh. You and the person you marry are entering into a vocation ordained by God, and it is a vocation that should not be taken lightly. What God has brought together let no man break asunder! Marriage is really not for the sake of personal convenience or pleasure, it is for the benefit of the community and world at large when husband and wife appreciate and understand the significance of their duties to each other, and to their children. If you never get married there is nothing wrong with that, but if you do it should not be because you want to make yourself, or even your spouse, happy. Marriage is about family, it is about the church, and it is about making you and your spouse better people for the wider community.
Unfortunately, what I cannot figure out how to say what I want to any more eloquently than that. For honestly, what more is there to be said? At its heart love is a choice that you make, and one that you fight for against you own sinful temptations and flaws. Acknowledging this, and acknowledging that love and relationships are not about us and our personal happiness, makes everything so much clearer and easier.
I cannot say that this series went exactly the way I wanted it to. I never feel quite satisfied with what I have to say once I finish, and I fell way behind schedule, but my hope is perhaps some of you gained some insights from my thoughts, or at least enjoyed/appreciated reading them. The whole topic is infinitely more complex than what I touched upon here, and I could write a million posts without being able to say all that there is to say, but hopefully what I did say is worth reading.
If you got this far, than thanks for reading and have a Merry Christmas!
Pax
Thursday, December 12, 2013
The Last Post is Coming Soon...
So, I know I am way behind schedule with my last post in my blog series, but I just finished Finals today and things have been kind of crazy around here with getting through the last stretch of the school year. I wanted to make sure I put the right amount of thought and time into this last post, and hopefully over the next week I'll have more freedom to do that.
The post is coming and has been started... I've just bee slackin' too much to get it out yet...
The post is coming and has been started... I've just bee slackin' too much to get it out yet...
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